1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:25,000
*Sings* We got out of the Gulag! It was very lucky we got out of the Gulag! By a man named Chucky we got out of the Gulag!

2
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:48,000
*Sings* No effect on target! On that you're gonna have to try a bit better! Pump out the stout! Pump out the landmines!

3
00:00:48,000 --> 00:01:17,000
*Sings* Merry Schlugmas to all! Peace on Earth to all men! *Sings* I'm feeling good we got the Fennec! There's a guy over there!

4
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:26,000
He must have gone upstairs he must be on top of that building over there! He might be over there! We just need to wait and see!

5
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:47,680
to wait and see. He's here. Right underneath. Father Fenix in town.

6
00:01:47,680 --> 00:02:10,760
Lovely bit of fennec. It was sweet. Very sweet.

7
00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:40,740
Miss? Missile again? Give him a bit of a bit. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go.

8
00:02:40,740 --> 00:03:10,720
I'm going to go. You're coming throughout my line, Tam. I don't know how that happens, to be honest. It's bizarre how it can hear me clearly. You'd think it's actually impossible.

9
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:20,840
Thank you very much there, Mama Duck. Just wait for this cowboy to come around here. Now he's going to get scared.

10
00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:49,900
This fucking winter warmer buzz there. I gave him a bit of heat. That'll throw a little bit of heat into the cold snap for him around Christmas time.

11
00:03:53,900 --> 00:04:10,380
This Christmas. This Christmas. Give the gift of heat. Thank you very much. Thank you very, very much, enemy downed.

12
00:04:16,860 --> 00:04:27,540
Father Fennec. Father Fennec. Giving out the last rites again. It's a beautiful priest. Champion Rhubarb and Robbie. Thank you very much.

13
00:04:29,380 --> 00:04:42,160
One for the money. Two for the show. Three for your mummy. Four for the gnoll. Five for... Six... Six for ten.

14
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:54,820
Bad job. He might still be up there. Pissing around.

15
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,540
That's... That's not him. That's a speck of dirt on top of the building.

16
00:05:03,540 --> 00:05:33,520
Let's go.

17
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:41,380
It was a souped-up Vajnev there, but it's Father Fennec all the way here.

18
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:47,140
Let's get inside this Nissan Sunny and really take control of the map in the Sunny.

19
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:48,800
Sunny side up.

20
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:54,380
And I think it's a case of looking towards Observatory.

21
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:55,620
Get up there.

22
00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:58,620
Stay around the edge of the fucking circle.

23
00:05:59,220 --> 00:06:02,020
Take out any bougie boys that are up there, maybe.

24
00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:05,840
It's a great strategy. I love that strategy.

25
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,300
I love the height that you get on it, the elevation.

26
00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:15,880
The birds I view with the situation of the scenario is what is necessary now.

27
00:06:16,060 --> 00:06:19,340
And you're flying by the seat of your house.

28
00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:30,900
I'm just nipping down the shop to buy an assault rifle and some stem takes.

29
00:06:31,380 --> 00:06:32,480
Do you need milk?

30
00:06:37,340 --> 00:06:38,420
Thanks very much.

31
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:41,920
Scumbelina. Now there could be bad boys up here.

32
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,660
A few scumbelinas around here.

33
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,920
Let's go and see. Let's play games with these guys.

34
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:56,940
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

35
00:06:58,020 --> 00:06:58,420
Oh.

36
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,360
Don't stop until you feel the burn.

37
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,600
And when you feel the burn, keep starting.

38
00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:07,120
Don't stop until you feel the burn.

39
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:10,320
And when you feel the burn, keep starting, man.

40
00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:12,280
There's another fucking starter down there.

41
00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:14,800
Starters and alternators.

42
00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:16,260
That's what we call this game.

43
00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:17,960
All you need is fennec.

44
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:24,240
The dream really would be to have a fennec that has a laser scope on it.

45
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:25,240
COVID-19.

46
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,300
Loadout drophead is your way.

47
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,020
Steve Jenin, thank you very much.

48
00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:38,240
I have a mortar ready to fucking rock as well.

49
00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:49,220
The dream now would be to have a fennec that has a liquid foldable stock on it for ease of use, mobility.

50
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,620
A nasty barrel.

51
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,360
A 45 round drum.

52
00:07:56,740 --> 00:08:00,720
And a fucking built-in silencer so you don't even have to put the silencer on as an attachment.

53
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:01,440
That'd be nice.

54
00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:09,140
I think actually you should actually replace the laser on the fennec.

55
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,820
With a fucking Denny gold medal sausage.

56
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:18,520
And poke a hole through the middle of the sausage so you can just see right through it.

57
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:26,080
Sounds legitimately not that practical, Tom.

58
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:29,040
Hear me out.

59
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:30,060
Hear me out.

60
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:34,480
I'm hearing.

61
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:34,880
Close.

62
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:44,920
When you're looking through meat, when you're looking through the meat hole, that's when you're really in the zone.

63
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:52,240
And that's a quote you can live or die by. I don't care.

64
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,240
I don't care.

65
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,240
Moving here.

66
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,240
Pokies is closed.

67
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:19,240
Lads, I'll get through the tips in a second. Just need to really concentrate here.

68
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,240
I don't care.

69
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,240
Grapp assist, I don't know what that is.

70
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,240
Pokies is closed.

71
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,240
*Mumbling*

72
00:09:50,860 --> 00:09:52,860
This seems to be me.

73
00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:56,860
Around here anyway.

74
00:09:59,380 --> 00:09:59,880
Fuck.

75
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,880
*Mumbling*

76
00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:07,840
This is where we get killed now by someone who's just...

77
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,160
...laying in wait inside the house here.

78
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:12,560
The usual crack.

79
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,080
The usual bit of business.

80
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,080
*Breathes*

81
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:45,960
Lovely bit of parachutin straight into the water, underwater, getting the swimmin', getting the under, underwater breaststroke goin'.

82
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:46,960
*Breathes* Keep start.

83
00:10:46,960 --> 00:11:09,960
*Breathes* Faliath, thanks for the tip. Giller, Rathkeel. Close that door. Check your side hatches. Ante, thank you very much, Schult. Thank you very much.

84
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:10,960
Watch.

85
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,960
Gas is closing. Get to the new safe zone.

86
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:43,940
I'm going to go.

87
00:11:43,940 --> 00:12:13,920
I'm going to go.

88
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:37,300
A bit of a diversionary tactic there. Oh, lovely. Lovely. Lovely bit of radar. Lovely bit of redox. Oh, that is nice. That is like taking a fucking redox.

89
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:54,680
A redox-laden shower bath. And there's a couple of fucking red dots available out here. We might even just find a nice place in the sand to do a bit of lying down snake tactics.

90
00:12:54,680 --> 00:13:22,740
A couple of lemon pies over there in that campsite. Here we are. A couple of dodgy boys. One dodgy boy by the car. A couple of lemon cakes over by the campsite.

91
00:13:22,740 --> 00:13:30,200
And a whole rake of shams over by the oil rig. So, it's, uh, it's down to you, really.

92
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:49,840
Yeah, I'm happy to just wait this one out for a little moment or two here. Just see how this situation over there plays out.

93
00:13:54,260 --> 00:14:05,400
I say we go over there is where we're probably going to end up. We don't want to, uh, fucking lose our, lose our head running across open sand. The sand dunes of time.

94
00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:28,860
Maybe we could just jump off here, though. Fuck. Oh, fuck. No parachute.

95
00:14:28,860 --> 00:14:34,920
Oh, no, what was the thinking behind that there? There was zero thought going into that. You...

96
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,860
Now you're fucking...

97
00:14:36,860 --> 00:14:40,920
Trapped between a rock and a hard place.

98
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:42,820
Very open here.

99
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,920
It'd be well to get over this dune to the right, that's it.

100
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:47,420
Get over there.

101
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:50,220
Use the dunes.

102
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,460
You've got gas in, though. Safe zone relocated.

103
00:14:55,220 --> 00:14:56,460
Over by the car now, I'd say.

104
00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:12,220
COVID-19.

105
00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:12,580
COVID-19.

106
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,660
HydroCal, thank you very much.

107
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,560
Jackie, thank you very much.

108
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:23,480
Follier.

109
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:24,760
Anti.

110
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:25,760
Schulte.

111
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:26,920
Captain Sack.

112
00:15:27,180 --> 00:15:27,840
Steve Jennings.

113
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:28,780
Brooklyn Luki.

114
00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:29,820
Schcomberlina.

115
00:15:31,740 --> 00:15:32,620
I think I've...

116
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:34,720
I think that's enough.

117
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,080
I think I've, uh...

118
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,460
I've, uh...

119
00:15:38,460 --> 00:15:39,080
managed to...

120
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,260
see everybody there.

121
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:43,920
But if not, I'll get you...

122
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,240
I'll get you in the interim.

123
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:46,080
Yeah.

124
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:46,080
Yeah.

125
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:46,080
Yeah.

126
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:46,280
Yeah.

127
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,140
Francis.

128
00:15:50,140 --> 00:15:51,120
The gas is coming.

129
00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:53,980
Yeah.

130
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:56,340
Just waiting for this, uh...

131
00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:57,460
This guy to get in the car.

132
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:58,700
I know it's boring gameplay.

133
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,600
It's just a bit of a warm-up scenario, you know?

134
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:02,800
I just want to...

135
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,100
He's getting into this car.

136
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:04,300
Look.

137
00:16:06,780 --> 00:16:07,320
Fuck it.

138
00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:09,300
Waste of time.

139
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:13,060
We didn't really want to go too far ahead of the gas anyway, you know?

140
00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:15,140
So it was more of a kind of a...

141
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,800
Just waiting till the gas starts to come in kind of a buzz.

142
00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:21,660
Yeah.

143
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:23,240
Totally.

144
00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:24,000
Totally, yeah.

145
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,080
Oh, completely, yeah.

146
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:27,500
Yeah.

147
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:30,320
Definitely.

148
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:32,260
Definitely.

149
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:35,300
Definitely, yeah.

150
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,060
Thank you very much.

151
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:00,080
We...

152
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:00,340
We...

153
00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:02,380
This is a dangerous area here.

154
00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:04,440
There's always snakes around here waiting.

155
00:17:09,140 --> 00:17:09,980
That's a...

156
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:10,280
AI.

157
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:19,720
Here we go.

158
00:17:21,260 --> 00:17:21,820
UAV.

159
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:38,520
What was that noise then?

160
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:43,820
I think, uh...

161
00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:45,500
When we...

162
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:46,660
When we press the...

163
00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:48,260
When we, uh, change...

164
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:50,520
When we go to your fucking phone...

165
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,020
UAV is being refueled.

166
00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:53,060
RTV is inside.

167
00:17:55,260 --> 00:17:57,400
It's right next to the funky music button.

168
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,940
Why would you need a button to press the...

169
00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:08,000
For me to talk?

170
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,520
Surely, surely when I talk I just come through.

171
00:18:10,740 --> 00:18:11,980
There shouldn't have to be a button.

172
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:12,840
It has to be pressure.

173
00:18:13,340 --> 00:18:14,420
It's not as...

174
00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:16,000
It's not as though I am...

175
00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:21,480
It's not as if you're changing the...

176
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:21,480
It's not as if you're changing the...

177
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:22,480
It's not as if you're changing the...

178
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,480
The sound in order to...

179
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,780
For me to talk or something.

180
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,260
I know it's a...

181
00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:30,980
It's a strange one.

182
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,180
And there's a guy around this corner here.

183
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,360
And when you feel the burn...

184
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:35,760
And when you feel the burn...

185
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:36,420
Keep starting.

186
00:18:42,260 --> 00:18:42,960
He's gone.

187
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,060
He's ninja...

188
00:18:44,060 --> 00:18:45,360
He's ninja'd his way...

189
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,340
Away from us, Tam.

190
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,800
He has fucking ninja'd his...

191
00:18:54,940 --> 00:18:55,740
Get inside here.

192
00:18:55,740 --> 00:18:56,200
Be safe.

193
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:56,700
How's this?

194
00:18:58,480 --> 00:18:59,480
It's fucking dangerous.

195
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,580
It's fucking dangerous in here.

196
00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:14,200
Smokey Joe Lula.

197
00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:17,760
Smokey Joe Frazer.

198
00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:25,940
Yeah, you have to...

199
00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:31,540
You have to get thanks and praise...

200
00:19:31,540 --> 00:19:32,180
To the fennec.

201
00:19:37,620 --> 00:19:38,940
It's a lovely piece of kit.

202
00:19:57,940 --> 00:19:59,040
Let that fucking...

203
00:19:59,040 --> 00:19:59,700
A nice...

204
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,500
Assault rifle M4 as well...

205
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:02,940
On top of that situation.

206
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:05,440
But it's the fennec...

207
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:06,580
That I'll keep in the hand.

208
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:07,280
It's the fennec...

209
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:08,380
That I'll keep in the claw.

210
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:10,380
The fennec that'll do the damage...

211
00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:12,020
When the time comes to do damage.

212
00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:13,480
The fennec that's there...

213
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:14,240
It's got your back...

214
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:14,620
When you need...

215
00:20:14,620 --> 00:20:15,620
When the chips are down.

216
00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:18,360
And the gas is fucking pumping in.

217
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:20,380
No better man...

218
00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:21,260
Than fucking fennec.

219
00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:36,180
Here we go.

220
00:20:36,180 --> 00:20:38,180
*BOOM*

221
00:20:38,180 --> 00:20:40,180
*Sigh*

222
00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:42,180
*Sigh*

223
00:20:42,180 --> 00:20:42,680
*Sigh*

224
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,680
We are fine. Let's get it done.

225
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,880
Jazz is moving in. New safe zone located.

226
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:50,880
*Sigh*

227
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:54,380
*Sigh*

228
00:21:05,380 --> 00:21:06,380
Moving!

229
00:21:06,380 --> 00:21:08,380
*Sigh*

230
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,880
Gonna be nice now to get up on here.

231
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,380
Get the high ground on these fucking shenanigans.

232
00:21:17,380 --> 00:21:19,380
Shenanigiezers.

233
00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:22,880
Bit of rage with the M4.

234
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:27,880
*Sigh*

235
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,880
Concha's down there somewhere.

236
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:30,880
*Sigh*

237
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:31,880
*Sigh*

238
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:32,880
*Sigh*

239
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,880
Oh fuck, there's someone inside this building as well.

240
00:21:35,880 --> 00:22:04,760
Where is it? Oh no your man you should have got for your man first. Nooo! Fennec! Fennec!

241
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:34,740
What the fuck is this? Beat up my min week! Who did this? Fennec. Fennec? Yeah, he turned down your offer. Fucker. Fucker. You're coming through all my line of fence. Fucker.

242
00:22:34,740 --> 00:22:52,740
Absolute fucker. Sorry about the language there about that now it's just... This cunt could do it look. Dynasties is come back from the dead. Go on! Shoot! Shoot! Ah!

243
00:22:52,740 --> 00:22:54,740
*Sigh*

244
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,740
*Sigh*

245
00:22:59,740 --> 00:23:00,740
*Sigh*

246
00:23:01,740 --> 00:23:02,740
*Sigh*

247
00:23:02,740 --> 00:23:03,740
*Sigh*

248
00:23:07,740 --> 00:23:08,740
Fuckers.

249
00:23:08,740 --> 00:23:09,740
Fuckers!

250
00:23:13,740 --> 00:23:15,740
You win some, you lose some.

251
00:23:15,740 --> 00:23:19,740
And in this case, you will and truly fucking last some.

252
00:23:20,740 --> 00:23:21,740
Big time.

253
00:23:21,740 --> 00:23:23,740
*Sigh*

254
00:23:23,740 --> 00:23:24,740
*Sigh*

255
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:29,740
*Sigh*

256
00:23:30,740 --> 00:23:31,740
You okay, Francis?

257
00:23:31,740 --> 00:23:35,740
Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Just, you know.

258
00:23:36,740 --> 00:23:38,740
Bit of a fucking doozy.

259
00:23:39,740 --> 00:23:40,740
Bit-

260
00:23:41,740 --> 00:23:43,740
Bit of a Christmas doozy.

261
00:23:44,740 --> 00:23:47,740
Not even Christmas, but it's a Christmas doozer.

262
00:23:47,740 --> 00:23:49,740
It's a real fucking schnoozer.

263
00:23:53,740 --> 00:23:54,740
It's a real fucking schnoozer.

264
00:23:58,740 --> 00:24:00,740
A chim chiminy choozer. Chim chim chroozer.

265
00:24:01,740 --> 00:24:29,100
Thank you very much there, Tony B.

266
00:24:29,100 --> 00:24:53,020
Thank you very much for throwing in a tip to us, but also letting us know about that.

267
00:24:53,020 --> 00:25:01,020
That's incredible intel there from Tony B.

268
00:25:01,020 --> 00:25:03,020
Thanks very much, Tony B.

269
00:25:03,020 --> 00:25:05,020
Magu Delaney, Lewis Burke, thank you very much.

270
00:25:05,020 --> 00:25:10,160
Anaconda G in the he with the you know for twee.

271
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,040
Hydro Cal, thank you very much, Jackie.

272
00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:14,320
Very kind of you.

273
00:25:14,420 --> 00:25:16,960
Lovely little bit of Christmas affection.

274
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:18,860
Folly it.

275
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:20,220
Furious pace, you say?

276
00:25:20,340 --> 00:25:26,500
Well, unfortunately, the pace had to end with a frightening crash down to earth.

277
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:31,320
Brought back down to earth at pace in a ball of flames, in a hail of bullets.

278
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,200
I don't know which way I'd rather go in a ball of flames or a hail of bullets.

279
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:38,040
Any ideas, Tom?

280
00:25:39,460 --> 00:25:42,120
Both would not be optimal, to be honest.

281
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:44,840
I would rather be, I'd rather pass out.

282
00:25:45,220 --> 00:25:50,260
I'd rather be suffocated, not suffocated, but just, I don't want to know what's happened,

283
00:25:50,380 --> 00:25:50,700
do you know?

284
00:25:51,700 --> 00:25:53,300
I get you, I get you, I get you.

285
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:03,860
And I don't want my body to be absolutely blasted to pieces by bullets either, you know?

286
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,840
I want the, I want an open coffin at the funeral.

287
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:08,600
Yeah.

288
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:15,580
Well, I thought you said you wanted to be cremated though, and your fucking ashes, uh, tossed into

289
00:26:15,580 --> 00:26:21,260
the fuel, the fuel compartment of a bus, the fuel sump, the fuel tank.

290
00:26:21,260 --> 00:26:25,100
You've just reminded me I do, yeah.

291
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,200
So, blast away, lads.

292
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:27,820
Blash away.

293
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:33,800
If you want a fucking 50 cal, my, my head, just leave a bit, leave enough for the, for the

294
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:34,120
fire.

295
00:26:36,340 --> 00:26:40,220
It's a sad, sad thought, Tom, but it's a fucking beautiful one as well.

296
00:26:41,180 --> 00:26:41,620
It is, yeah.

297
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:46,240
Just as long as there's a bit of me to power a bus around the town after I've gone, I don't

298
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,400
mind getting 50 cal'd on the map.

299
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:58,400
Thank you very much there.

300
00:26:58,780 --> 00:27:03,580
Follyot, Giller, Super Quinn Sausages, now Christmas morning, not a bother, thank you very much.

301
00:27:04,180 --> 00:27:06,300
Rath Keel Driving School, thank you very much.

302
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,640
Handling the Nissan Sunny like a pro, very kind of you.

303
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,780
Mickey Mace, thank you very much for your tip there, just come through on the pipeline.

304
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:12,960
Ante, thanks very much.

305
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,720
She said the donation link is missing from the description.

306
00:27:14,860 --> 00:27:19,300
Francis, thanks very much for letting us know in the past if we'd have had the wherewithal

307
00:27:19,300 --> 00:27:22,760
to have read that beautiful bit of intel.

308
00:27:23,860 --> 00:27:29,040
Then nothing would have been able to be done about it anyway because we were too busy tearing

309
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,840
up the landscape out here in Al-Mazra.

310
00:27:33,540 --> 00:27:36,660
It's a lovely place out in the fucking desert.

311
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:41,960
It's hot, it's heavy, got a lot of fucking spice to it.

312
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:44,920
Thank you very much there, Mr. Buttons.

313
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,960
Francis, what do you and Tommy have planned for the Christmas?

314
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,060
Just fucking eating.

315
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,280
Eating and, uh, did you get this?

316
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,720
Did you get the ordering from the off-license today, Tom?

317
00:27:56,540 --> 00:28:02,140
I, uh, just got a few shtouts for myself for tonight, but I was waiting.

318
00:28:02,540 --> 00:28:08,420
We want to leave it until afternoon tomorrow to really, uh, just push it, push it until the

319
00:28:08,420 --> 00:28:09,860
deadline, do you know what I mean?

320
00:28:11,540 --> 00:28:16,480
I do indeed, I do indeed, I do indeed, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

321
00:28:16,540 --> 00:28:21,820
I mean, it's not going to be that busy around our locale, but if you were to head into Castle

322
00:28:21,820 --> 00:28:23,460
Bar, then it'd be too fucking busy.

323
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:29,140
Well, I did Castle Bar the other day, you see, I got the slippers and, uh, the packet

324
00:28:29,140 --> 00:28:30,160
of spice for the chilli.

325
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,100
And how was the chilli there?

326
00:28:33,180 --> 00:28:33,700
Did you have that?

327
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:36,400
I had that last night, yeah, I made that last night.

328
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:41,160
It's very nice, there's still some left for you there in the fridge.

329
00:28:42,580 --> 00:28:44,860
I might have a bit of the before bed, yeah.

330
00:28:45,700 --> 00:28:49,360
Um, thanks very much there, Gridrain741, very, very kind of you.

331
00:28:49,420 --> 00:28:52,160
There may be no ice buses when Tommy dies.

332
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:58,840
His ashes would have to be slathered on a rechargeable battery pack.

333
00:28:58,980 --> 00:29:00,540
Never really thought about that, actually.

334
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:05,660
Um, it's going to be a fucking electric bus land.

335
00:29:06,660 --> 00:29:08,560
I dream of electric bus.

336
00:29:09,780 --> 00:29:11,200
Yeah, never thought about that.

337
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,920
Um, it's all, it's all going to be lithium ion.

338
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:19,320
So, I'm going to have to be ionised, I think.

339
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,480
If, maybe, if you can save my ashes.

340
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:26,420
I want to be cremated and then ionised, if there's a way of doing that.

341
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,740
Or maybe even keeping a bit of me.

342
00:29:29,540 --> 00:29:30,620
Uh, freeze dry me.

343
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,720
And, uh, then ionise me.

344
00:29:33,740 --> 00:29:34,960
I'm not sure how that would be done.

345
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:39,140
Yeah, well, I'm not sure, really, of the legality of keeping a bit of you.

346
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:39,840
Do you know what I mean?

347
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:44,360
Once you're dead, I think your body is, it's sacrosanct, then.

348
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:48,600
I'm not actually sure whether or not I could just keep a chunk of you in the fridge or the freezer or anything like that.

349
00:29:49,660 --> 00:29:52,020
Well, I'll write a letter for them, so it just says,

350
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:56,480
To whom it may concern, Francis can have a chunk of me.

351
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,600
Yeah, there's moral, there are moral issues in that as well.

352
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:05,080
I don't want to have bits of you in the fucking fridge freezer, to be honest, Tom,

353
00:30:05,140 --> 00:30:10,960
because I've got other mince and things like that and meats and, uh, God forbid,

354
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:17,620
I actually mixed you up with the fucking chicken and ended up making a stir fry out of you or something like that.

355
00:30:17,660 --> 00:30:22,040
That would, uh, that would not only desecrate your fucking soul and memory.

356
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:23,940
It would be a fantastic loss.

357
00:30:25,380 --> 00:30:27,400
To our jam at the same time.

358
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,440
It might be a beautiful meal.

359
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:31,480
Could be a beautiful way to go as well.

360
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:39,680
Never been into the cannibal, never thought I'd get into the cannibalism myself, to be honest to you.

361
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,980
Um, Dum Dum the Dodo, thanks very much.

362
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,280
Happy Christmas from the whole family watching live.

363
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:46,620
Thanks very much, Joey Goblins.

364
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:48,200
Very kind of you.

365
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:49,540
The Spice Mongrel.

366
00:30:50,380 --> 00:30:52,500
Thanks for the schlug Christmas.

367
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:54,840
Uh, Siobhan, thank you very much.

368
00:30:54,940 --> 00:30:56,420
Marcy Aileen, thank you very much.

369
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:57,580
Thanks for your service.

370
00:30:58,060 --> 00:30:58,540
I love you.

371
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:03,820
Will forever cherish the blessing you gave me for my first child, Alu Akbar.

372
00:31:04,380 --> 00:31:07,260
What a beautiful, beautiful statement there from Marcy.

373
00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:10,800
And Gridrain, 741, thank you very much as well.

374
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:18,100
Are you any relation to Slabodan Milosevic, Sam?

375
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:21,340
I am it.

376
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:22,840
But I know of him.

377
00:31:23,500 --> 00:31:23,900
I, uh...

378
00:31:25,900 --> 00:31:31,480
was on a journey with him there a few years back, before shit hit the fan down there in the Balkans.

379
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,860
And I did, I gave him a lift.

380
00:31:35,860 --> 00:31:37,020
Would you believe I gave him a lift?

381
00:31:38,900 --> 00:31:40,640
And where was he going at the time?

382
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:41,320
I'm sure he was...

383
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,080
He was a war criminal, was he not?

384
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:44,880
Well, that's...

385
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:46,580
That's how it transpired at the time.

386
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,200
I just thought he was a nice...

387
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,480
A nice man from that locale.

388
00:31:51,140 --> 00:31:53,480
Little did I know that he'd actually committed genocide.

389
00:31:54,260 --> 00:31:56,800
But when I asked him what he did, he just said he did...

390
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:58,140
He worked on cars and stuff.

391
00:31:59,740 --> 00:32:01,240
Did you not know from the pictures?

392
00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:02,600
Sure, you were in NATO, no?

393
00:32:02,700 --> 00:32:05,860
You must have had pictures of the fucking people that you were meant to be killing.

394
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:08,820
Well, I wasn't doing any killing, you see.

395
00:32:08,860 --> 00:32:09,960
I was doing dinners and buses.

396
00:32:10,860 --> 00:32:12,320
And I'd seen pictures of the fellas.

397
00:32:13,180 --> 00:32:16,920
But, you know, when you're in the zone, you don't really fucking take any notice.

398
00:32:17,500 --> 00:32:19,360
Sure, you remember Fassbender in the movie.

399
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:21,160
He managed to pretend to be a German in that.

400
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:24,600
Yeah.

401
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,920
Hodge, thanks very much for the tip there.

402
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:30,840
Danny B, an iconic price.

403
00:32:31,180 --> 00:32:32,060
Nine to four.

404
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:32,980
Thanks very much.

405
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:35,320
Can I get a shout-out to Jigo?

406
00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:37,420
Lying up, dying after a rake of pints.

407
00:32:37,500 --> 00:32:38,280
You can indeed.

408
00:32:38,740 --> 00:32:42,660
Jigo! Jigo! Jigo! Jigo! Jigo! Jigo! Jigo!

409
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:48,900
That's like six shout-outs in one go for Jigo there from Danny B.

410
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:50,220
What a name as well.

411
00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:50,980
Jigo.

412
00:32:55,700 --> 00:32:56,540
Ready to go?

413
00:32:57,300 --> 00:32:58,320
Ready to blow?

414
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:02,400
Let's- let's- let's blow this joint.

415
00:33:12,940 --> 00:33:14,280
Well, keys is closed.

416
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:33,000
Here we go, here we go, here we go.

417
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:54,840
Someone just died there, someone got inside there. Gino. G-Gino! Gino! Gino! Ginelli!

418
00:33:54,840 --> 00:34:24,480
Gino! Ginelli! Lovely bit of Gino Ginelli there. Hostel UOV in the area. You're packing the big, the big gun there, the big schniphauser.

419
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:43,880
*Mario's voice* Could be another sausage in here, make sure you've got your fucking grill with ya!

420
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,480
Stole that away.

421
00:34:53,480 --> 00:35:00,480
I'm only just- It's been a month, but I'm only getting used to the stowing and keeping.

422
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:17,880
There we go. Bit of action down here. There you are. There you are. Cracked his arse. Little pineapple for ya. Boomhauer. No dice. Whip out the vag. There you are.

423
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:27,880
*Mario's voice* Whip out the Vaz. Keith Vaz is after ya. It's a lovely bit of combination pack awareness week here. We've got the Vazhnev9k submachine gun. And he's dual wielding that with an RPK. He's got the RPK going. Plebius, thanks very much for the billy roll.

424
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:50,880
Whip out the Vaz! Keith Vaz is after you! It's a lovely bit of combination pack awareness week here. We've got the Vazhnev9k Sub Machine Gun. And he's dual wielding that with an RPK. He's got the RPK going. Playbius, thanks very much for the billy roll.

425
00:35:54,880 --> 00:36:21,880
Thank you very much for the billy roll. And Rathkill, thank you very much. And Shkav and Pudge.

426
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:33,880
Really in the mood for a bit of billy roll right now with this. And he's gonna get absolutely lit up with the Semtex. And what about that? Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

427
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:45,880
Easy now, Francis. Come on. There's no need for that kind of language. There really is no kind of... There's no kind of need for that kind of language.

428
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:57,880
I'm not sure. You smell of want. You see, you're gonna want to be able to fucking get out of this. Otherwise...

429
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:04,880
It's gonna be a sting in the tail, come on, come on, friends, come on.

430
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:09,880
Watch a grenade.

431
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:10,880
Come on.

432
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:13,880
Get back, that's one.

433
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,880
And another one in the head, that's a double.

434
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,880
There's your gulag, huh?

435
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:21,880
That's your gulag.

436
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,880
That's your gulag.

437
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:31,880
That's the gulag you wanted, huh? You got it.

438
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,880
Double boyos.

439
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,880
Double fuckin' boyos.

440
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:40,880
Double fuckin' boyos.

441
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:43,880
I'm going to go to the back of the shot.

442
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,880
I'm going to go to the back of the shot.

443
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:51,880
Enemy soldier incoming.

444
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:52,880
Enemy soldier.

445
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:53,880
Enemy soldier.

446
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:54,880
Enemy soldier.

447
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:56,880
*Loud noise*

448
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:58,880
*Loud noise*

449
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:26,880
*Gibberish*

450
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:28,880
I'm gonna keep an eye on that doorway down there.

451
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:34,880
I know there's a car...

452
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:38,880
...beside ya.

453
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:40,880
*Gibberish*

454
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:42,880
Big cruddle...aw, fuck.

455
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:46,880
I can see what you were trying to do there, but it wasn't gonna work out for you.

456
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:48,880
Man there, man there!

457
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:53,880
I'm on him.

458
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,880
Let's get this rat.

459
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:58,880
Probably on the roof now. Probably just fiddling around on the roof.

460
00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:01,880
Waiting for me.

461
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:05,880
Gang bang!

462
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,880
Oh! Sensual!

463
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:09,880
Piece of pudding!

464
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:12,880
Oh, fuck.

465
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:14,880
Got a second grenade.

466
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:15,880
Do you want that?

467
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:17,880
Ohhhhhhh...

468
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:19,880
Please...

469
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:23,880
Tell me that was a Christmas miracle blast.

470
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:24,880
Princess?

471
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:25,880
Yeah?

472
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:27,880
I'm very pleased to say that was a Christmas miracle blast.

473
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:29,880
All the way from the North Pole...

474
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,880
...sant his little gift box...

475
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:33,880
...gift wrapped Christmas hamper...

476
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:34,880
...containing...

477
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:35,880
...death...

478
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:36,880
...destruction...

479
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:38,880
...lovely little block of sheep's cheese...

480
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:40,880
...gourmet...

481
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:42,880
...salt...

482
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:44,880
...a bottle of red wine...

483
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,880
...and that'll be 55 euro. Thank you.

484
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:54,720
destruction lovely little black of sheep's cheese gourmet salt

485
00:39:56,960 --> 00:40:05,280
a bottle of red wine and that'll be 55 euro thank you it's pricey enough to be honest comes in a

486
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:15,280
nice box still though just salt one red wine that's not even a premium what the

487
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:25,680
fuck they were asleep they were asleep was that a bot it wasn't a bot because it went up to six the

488
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:39,680
score has gone up to six that's six deaths

489
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:54,080
so

490
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,080
*Bang*

491
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:09,080
*Bang*

492
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,080
*Bang*

493
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:11,080
*Bang*

494
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:12,080
*Bang*

495
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:13,080
*Bang*

496
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:17,080
Chance we get that load out, get the fennec.

497
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:19,080
Fuck.

498
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:20,080
Fuck.

499
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:23,080
Could do with an ol' vest as well.

500
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:23,580
Well...

501
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:38,080
Moving here!

502
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,080
Enemy UAV active.

503
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,080
Head for the hills.

504
00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:52,080
It's the same as the last game.

505
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,080
When we get to this point,

506
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:57,080
probably best to get up to the fucking mountain range.

507
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:59,080
Get a bit of height.

508
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,080
Stay on the edge of the circle.

509
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:05,080
Bit of scope to be able to see around you.

510
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:10,080
And take out the trash from up top.

511
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,080
Could be fucking dodgy.

512
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:17,080
Going in there.

513
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,080
As soon as I see it, as soon as I see it,

514
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:20,080
we're getting sniped at.

515
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:21,080
So we'll do this.

516
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,080
Rock and roll driving side to side.

517
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:24,080
Low fuel indicator.

518
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,080
Moving across death bridge here.

519
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:29,080
I thought that this was a fucking dodgy move to make.

520
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,080
Probably better than going the other way.

521
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,080
Small transition there.

522
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:47,080
Oh, it's whipping out the drone.

523
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:50,080
What the fuck happened there?

524
00:42:50,080 --> 00:43:13,200
What happened there?

525
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:14,960
Lovely better drone.

526
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:15,960
Dronealdo.

527
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:16,960
Cristiano Dronealdo.

528
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:18,960
And there he is.

529
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:19,960
He's stuck.

530
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:26,360
Get him he's stuck.

531
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:27,360
Lovely drone.

532
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,360
19.

533
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,240
He's giving you all info you need.

534
00:43:31,240 --> 00:43:35,560
He's running into that house over there.

535
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:41,000
He's piss balling about inside the shed.

536
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:49,840
Good night Vienna.

537
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:59,240
Good night sleepy Jean.

538
00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:07,240
Good night sleepy Jean.

539
00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:16,640
Good night sleepy Jean.

540
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:20,640
Good night sleepy Jean.

541
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:23,920
Shug night sleepy jeans.

542
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:25,520
Moving!

543
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:29,600
A lovely can of beans.

544
00:44:30,060 --> 00:44:33,520
And a sausage from Aldi.

545
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,940
You know what it means.

546
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,340
Still to get the loadout.

547
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:45,800
The loadout is somewhere around here.

548
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:47,880
It's disappeared from the map now.

549
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:54,220
But... I don't know where approximately was around here.

550
00:44:54,220 --> 00:44:55,460
But you've got to remember.

551
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,680
You fucking lads probably coming down from the top of this mountain range as well.

552
00:44:59,740 --> 00:45:02,020
Looking to get a pot shot at you.

553
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:03,320
Pole pot!

554
00:45:03,940 --> 00:45:06,380
Gas is closing. Get to the new safe zone.

555
00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:08,000
Could potentially be up there.

556
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,000
He's is closed.

557
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:23,540
Sweet, sweet piece of beef.

558
00:45:24,540 --> 00:45:27,340
Sweet, sweet piece of beef.

559
00:45:27,340 --> 00:45:46,840
Oh!

560
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:46,940
Oh!

561
00:45:46,940 --> 00:45:49,920
One just after he was leaving.

562
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,280
Oh, he could have fucking killed us.

563
00:45:53,420 --> 00:45:54,460
Must have seen us.

564
00:45:54,460 --> 00:46:07,760
I think there could be fucking lads around the observatory here.

565
00:46:07,780 --> 00:46:09,460
There's always a few rats up here when they...

566
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:12,740
Yeah, I know.

567
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:14,460
Just as we say that...

568
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:18,820
Just after hearing...

569
00:46:18,820 --> 00:46:20,880
Assault rifle fire or not...

570
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:23,100
Or machine gun fire, should I say, from down there.

571
00:46:23,100 --> 00:46:25,100
So we'll mount that...

572
00:46:25,100 --> 00:46:27,740
And we'll play the waiting game.

573
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:32,380
There you go.

574
00:46:33,260 --> 00:46:33,660
How ya!

575
00:46:33,660 --> 00:46:56,140
Quasi-quarting.

576
00:46:56,140 --> 00:46:58,560
Quasi-quarting.

577
00:46:58,560 --> 00:46:59,820
Kill.

578
00:46:59,820 --> 00:46:59,820
Kill.

579
00:46:59,820 --> 00:47:00,720
Kill.

580
00:47:00,720 --> 00:47:01,640
Crush.

581
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:02,700
Destroy.

582
00:47:02,700 --> 00:47:02,720
Destroy.

583
00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:02,720
Kill.

584
00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:03,720
Crush.

585
00:47:03,720 --> 00:47:04,720
Destroy.

586
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:04,780
Kill.

587
00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:04,780
Crush.

588
00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:04,780
Destroy.

589
00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:05,280
Destroy.

590
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:11,960
Did you see the shtade of that fucking laggard?

591
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:15,880
He got absolutely wrecked.

592
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:24,920
That laggard just got absolutely wrecked by Autobot.

593
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:43,160
Getting deja vu here?

594
00:47:43,160 --> 00:48:13,140
Getting deja vu here?

595
00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:24,140
Getting deja vu here?

596
00:48:24,140 --> 00:48:41,140
It's very tense now, we just you don't want to go straight away you want to make sure there's nobody around.

597
00:48:41,140 --> 00:48:43,140
Holy fuck!

598
00:48:43,140 --> 00:48:50,140
Jack is moving in, new safe zone located.

599
00:48:50,140 --> 00:48:52,140
What was going on there?

600
00:48:52,140 --> 00:49:03,140
What was going on there?

601
00:49:03,140 --> 00:49:07,640
Couldn't fucking tell you what was going on there to be honest with you.

602
00:49:07,720 --> 00:49:10,560
Your man was half asleep when we went through the door.

603
00:49:11,820 --> 00:49:14,220
He mustn't have had his Weetabix this morning.

604
00:49:15,020 --> 00:49:18,140
Because the cunt's fucking awareness was at an all time low.

605
00:49:18,700 --> 00:49:22,140
He was probably smoking hash cakes on the way to the house.

606
00:49:23,380 --> 00:49:26,000
How did he not even know that we were in the building?

607
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:29,660
Sure we were on top of the fucking roof for 10 minutes before going down.

608
00:49:31,300 --> 00:49:34,740
He must have been wearing fucking earmuffs or something.

609
00:49:35,340 --> 00:49:39,400
He must have had earplugs in. There's another guy over here. Look. He's getting fucking wrecked.

610
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:46,260
Kill crushed. He's trying to airstrike us. Time to fuck off rapid staff.

611
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:53,980
Pushed out the parachute and fucking run like fuck. Run like fuck.

612
00:49:59,980 --> 00:50:01,320
Into the house.

613
00:50:02,460 --> 00:50:03,720
Safe as a mouse.

614
00:50:04,140 --> 00:50:04,980
Close the door.

615
00:50:04,980 --> 00:50:34,960
I'm sorry.

616
00:50:34,960 --> 00:51:00,240
Fuck.

617
00:51:00,240 --> 00:51:00,240
Fuck.

618
00:51:02,100 --> 00:51:04,140
Best just hide in the jacks.

619
00:51:04,140 --> 00:51:14,140
Get on top of the jacks.

620
00:51:15,140 --> 00:51:28,540
Can hear footsteps around the gaff. Hopefully he comes into the toilet.

621
00:51:28,540 --> 00:51:42,140
Decoy.

622
00:51:48,140 --> 00:51:51,900
Let's get to the quad bike over here.

623
00:52:12,140 --> 00:52:21,660
Quasi quad bike. Here we go. Here we go. It's all on. Someone's trying to fucking... I threw a grenade by Michele. Come on. Come on. You're down.

624
00:52:22,140 --> 00:52:33,040
This is it. You're about to die at the hands of quasi quad bike. Remember me. Remember the name. Remember the face. Ah fuck.

625
00:52:34,140 --> 00:52:52,380
Quasi quad bike. Ah you fucking prick. You shouldn't have been fucking around there trying to give him the big bamboo. Giving it the big talk. Like you're a quasi quad bike.

626
00:52:56,140 --> 00:53:23,280
You gave it too much there. You thought you were the fucking bees knees. You thought you were the big swinging bamboo in the town. You thought you were the chimp that got away from the enclosure.

627
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:36,540
Awful sad about those fucking monkeys that got absolutely annihilated at the hands of the Swedish National Guard. Don't know if you've seen the story there. It was fucking horrible stuff.

628
00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:54,800
God have mercy on their fucking simian souls. Thank you very much for the tips lads. Gee. Bob. Santos. El Halper. Flamebag. Nymiljil. Marcy. Aileen. Thank you very much.

629
00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:59,840
Could you give a shout out and a merry Christmas to little Edith?

630
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,320
She's playing dinos in the next room.

631
00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:06,300
Peanuts and crisps.

632
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:08,100
Peanuts and crisps, Edith.

633
00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:09,900
Peanuts and crisps.

634
00:54:18,940 --> 00:54:20,340
Peanuts and crisps.

635
00:54:26,260 --> 00:54:29,220
Absolutely sickened.

636
00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:33,180
Sickened to the hilt.

637
00:54:35,580 --> 00:54:42,240
The prize that I paid was the ultimate prize.

638
00:54:42,820 --> 00:54:44,440
The prize of death.

639
00:54:46,420 --> 00:54:48,480
The prize of death.

640
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:53,120
Still haven't won at Warzone.

641
00:54:54,740 --> 00:54:59,160
Will I ever win at all?

642
00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:04,460
Thanks very much there Ben Walters

643
00:55:04,460 --> 00:55:10,740
Women and children down here pump out the stout

644
00:55:10,740 --> 00:55:12,640
And thank you very much

645
00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:15,080
Connor Mac happy Christmas lads

646
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:16,500
It's Tommy cooking the Xmas dinner

647
00:55:16,500 --> 00:55:18,420
This year is it yourself Francis

648
00:55:18,420 --> 00:55:21,780
It's a Tommy it's a Tommy special

649
00:55:21,780 --> 00:55:25,340
Sure I don't know how to cook it's Tommy all the way

650
00:55:25,340 --> 00:55:30,800
Revenge of the Tommy knockers

651
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:32,560
Thank you very much Brian Coney

652
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:34,960
For your tip that came through

653
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:36,300
We were busy we were fighting

654
00:55:36,300 --> 00:55:39,400
Do ya as well you made a tip

655
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:41,560
You said it's not Christmas without the war zones trains

656
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:43,840
Well thanks very much for tuning in

657
00:55:43,840 --> 00:55:46,380
And the shlulag thank you very much

658
00:55:46,380 --> 00:55:49,280
The shmel of wand very nice lovely name

659
00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:51,200
Wrath kill plebeus

660
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:53,880
Shkav thank you very much Shkav

661
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:56,260
And Pudge

662
00:55:56,260 --> 00:55:57,640
And Danny B

663
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:02,060
Like that covered the lads that were tapping before

664
00:56:02,060 --> 00:56:16,420
Harry any relation

665
00:56:16,420 --> 00:56:22,240
To Slabodan Belasovic

666
00:56:22,240 --> 00:56:36,680
Do you know Slabodan?

667
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:47,060
He's a very nasty Balkan man Slabodan?

668
00:56:47,060 --> 00:56:48,060
Slabodan?

669
00:56:48,060 --> 00:56:49,060
Slabodan?

670
00:56:49,060 --> 00:56:50,060
And when you feel the bird?

671
00:56:50,060 --> 00:56:51,060
And when you feel the bird?

672
00:56:51,060 --> 00:56:51,060
Keep stark

673
00:56:51,060 --> 00:56:54,820
Thank you for the tip

674
00:56:54,820 --> 00:56:57,440
Kiki stockhammer

675
00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:08,500
Mark the lady as well

676
00:57:08,500 --> 00:57:11,280
thanking you.

677
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:25,860
It's very, um,

678
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:27,680
very haunting

679
00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:29,880
stuff you've got going on there.

680
00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:32,240
Thanks very much, Mark Delaney and Kiki Staghammer.

681
00:57:32,580 --> 00:57:34,140
Any word when the Tommy NFT

682
00:57:34,140 --> 00:57:35,500
collection is coming?

683
00:57:37,460 --> 00:57:38,480
As, uh,

684
00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:39,900
was hoping to give some

685
00:57:39,900 --> 00:57:41,980
as digital stocking filler.

686
00:57:42,980 --> 00:57:44,620
McHugh's tomorrow for a nice festive

687
00:57:44,620 --> 00:57:45,640
sandwich would recommend.

688
00:57:46,600 --> 00:57:48,520
Look, all will be revealed

689
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:49,280
in the new year.

690
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:51,920
All will be revealed in the new year.

691
00:57:52,460 --> 00:57:54,060
We don't want to make any promises.

692
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:56,340
Francis made a promise there yesterday afternoon

693
00:57:56,340 --> 00:57:57,960
he was going to come back after the food.

694
00:57:58,240 --> 00:57:58,820
What happened?

695
00:57:59,860 --> 00:58:02,320
I was fucked, man. I went

696
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:04,500
hard on the, thanks very much for the tip

697
00:58:04,500 --> 00:58:06,120
there, Annie Buzzen. So I'm just gonna,

698
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:08,160
I'm gonna tell you what went wrong in that

699
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:10,580
fucking, with that voice, uh,

700
00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:11,900
modulation thing on.

701
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:12,760
One second there.

702
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:12,760
One second there.

703
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:17,180
Basically, I went away from the stream.

704
00:58:17,180 --> 00:58:25,980
Basically, I went away from the stream.

705
00:58:25,980 --> 00:58:29,460
And went to Mace.

706
00:58:29,460 --> 00:58:37,140
And got a hot and spicy chicken fillet roll.

707
00:58:37,140 --> 00:58:43,120
And a massive bag of O'Donnell's crisps.

708
00:58:44,260 --> 00:58:44,740
And I'm talking.

709
00:58:44,740 --> 00:58:45,420
And I'm talking.

710
00:58:45,420 --> 00:58:45,420
And I'm talking.

711
00:58:45,420 --> 00:58:50,680
A majorly fucking big bag of O'Donnell's crisps.

712
00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:53,180
They were on offer for two euro.

713
00:58:55,180 --> 00:58:57,340
So I bought them.

714
00:58:57,680 --> 00:59:00,680
And I thought I'd only eat half.

715
00:59:01,100 --> 00:59:04,320
And save half for later.

716
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:10,180
But I ended up eating the whole bag.

717
00:59:10,180 --> 00:59:11,940
And I felt like shit.

718
00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:16,480
Went to sleep for half an hour.

719
00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:21,320
Felt fucking wrecked after.

720
00:59:23,900 --> 00:59:26,020
And then later.

721
00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:31,860
Because I was still so wrecked after the fillet rolling crisps.

722
00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:36,380
I made a massive mistake.

723
00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:40,920
What mistake did you make?

724
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:46,560
I bought a good fellas pizza.

725
00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:49,920
No way.

726
00:59:50,160 --> 00:59:53,600
You can't have that after eating fucking roll.

727
00:59:54,380 --> 00:59:55,980
And then having crisps.

728
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:56,980
And coke.

729
00:59:57,180 --> 00:59:57,740
And what have you.

730
00:59:57,820 --> 00:59:59,800
You can't have a good fellas for dinner as well.

731
01:00:02,100 --> 01:00:07,720
I had a good fellas out of pure laziness.

732
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:12,760
And woke up around 2 a.m.

733
01:00:14,300 --> 01:00:17,660
Feeling like utter shit.

734
01:00:31,260 --> 01:00:33,420
Critical error there says.

735
01:00:34,740 --> 01:00:35,900
George and Jones.

736
01:00:36,900 --> 01:00:38,960
This isn't fucking loading the game.

737
01:00:39,140 --> 01:00:41,900
It keeps on getting into the lobby.

738
01:00:42,060 --> 01:00:45,160
And then it's had to restart twice now.

739
01:00:53,900 --> 01:00:56,240
I can't be fucking bothered waiting for this now.

740
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:02,620
I might go and have a beer or something.

741
01:01:02,620 --> 01:01:03,420
What are you doing?

742
01:01:03,460 --> 01:01:04,320
Are you watching Shiffé?

743
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:04,540
Are you?

744
01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:07,400
I might just watch a bit of Shiffé?

745
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:08,280
Because I've been fuck it.

746
01:01:08,340 --> 01:01:09,660
We did well enough there for two.

747
01:01:09,740 --> 01:01:10,900
I'd like to do more about this.

748
01:01:11,680 --> 01:01:13,340
We could be waiting here all day.

749
01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:14,620
Me doing auto-tune.

750
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:16,920
Trying to fill in the blanks till we come back.

751
01:01:17,140 --> 01:01:18,900
Like Craig Connick.

752
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:19,940
Thanks very much there.

753
01:01:20,340 --> 01:01:21,920
I'm just skipping out of the shop to buy it.

754
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:23,560
I'm going to start riding with some Scenten.

755
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:27,780
And some sprouts for the boys.

756
01:01:27,900 --> 01:01:30,660
Is Quad Bike taking any Daft Punk requests?

757
01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:32,240
Yeah.

758
01:01:32,420 --> 01:01:34,440
If you want to fucking do it like that.

759
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:34,880
We will.

760
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:35,120
Yeah.

761
01:01:35,220 --> 01:01:37,080
If you want to request away.

762
01:01:37,180 --> 01:01:37,780
Request away.

763
01:01:37,860 --> 01:01:39,200
We'll try and figure something out.

764
01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:41,480
We're waiting to get into another lobby.

765
01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:42,280
I'll give it another.

766
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:43,940
We'll wait another one time.

767
01:01:44,020 --> 01:01:44,160
Will we?

768
01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:45,880
Try again, Sean.

769
01:01:46,460 --> 01:01:47,000
Try again.

770
01:01:47,540 --> 01:01:50,860
If it goes to it's up, then you might do a bit of Shiffé.

771
01:01:51,780 --> 01:01:53,060
It's getting on to nine.

772
01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:54,300
Like I wanted to have a fucking.

773
01:01:54,500 --> 01:01:55,420
I wanted to have the Shiffé.

774
01:01:55,540 --> 01:01:56,800
Be into the Shiffé right now anyway.

775
01:01:57,740 --> 01:01:59,200
Probably best just to start it then, maybe.

776
01:02:03,880 --> 01:02:06,040
Paddy, the Shampire says restart the game.

777
01:02:06,380 --> 01:02:07,680
I've restarted it there.

778
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:15,640
Thank you very much, CrayConnick.

779
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:16,280
Any buzzin'.

780
01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:17,020
Thank you very much.

781
01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:17,780
Do you play Fortnite?

782
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:19,060
No, never played it.

783
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:23,120
Or I tell a lie.

784
01:02:23,180 --> 01:02:24,840
I did play it, but I didn't get into it.

785
01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:33,000
Because I was too into Call of Duty and first person shooting and all that kind of stuff.

786
01:02:33,180 --> 01:02:35,740
But maybe it might be something to play.

787
01:02:36,100 --> 01:02:37,200
Another time sink.

788
01:02:37,200 --> 01:02:40,040
I'm actually trying to stop playing the fucking Warzone, to be honest.

789
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:41,340
It's too much of a time sink.

790
01:02:41,420 --> 01:02:43,160
And I feel depleted.

791
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:47,100
I feel wrecked and depressed after most sessions now.

792
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:51,840
More often than that, I need to only play two games now or three games.

793
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:53,080
And then that's the max, you know?

794
01:02:53,580 --> 01:02:59,260
Because if I play more than that, you feel worthless after it, you know?

795
01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:04,980
Especially if you're not getting Major League wins, you know?

796
01:03:04,980 --> 01:03:07,120
And you've never had a win on this Warzone 2 yet.

797
01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:09,720
Thank you very much.

798
01:03:09,720 --> 01:03:11,780
Thank you very much, B-Town Savior as well.

799
01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:12,840
Happy Christmas.

800
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:14,500
Shout out the boys in B-Town.

801
01:03:15,020 --> 01:03:17,780
Use that tenner to get Tommy some phone credit.

802
01:03:32,960 --> 01:03:34,540
I'm just gonna grab a shout there.

803
01:03:35,820 --> 01:03:37,460
Grab away, Tom. Grab away.

804
01:03:37,460 --> 01:04:07,440
Grab away.

805
01:04:07,440 --> 01:04:37,420
Grab away.

806
01:04:37,420 --> 01:04:38,240
I'm in the house, are you?

807
01:04:39,300 --> 01:04:41,320
I'm everywhere, man. Fucking everywhere.

808
01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:49,680
I thought you were somewhere... I thought you were in your gaff or something. I thought that's why... I thought that was the deal that we had. That's why you were over the phone.

809
01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:52,660
I let myself in.

810
01:04:54,260 --> 01:04:55,500
But sure, you don't have a key.

811
01:04:56,940 --> 01:04:58,100
I climbed in through the window.

812
01:04:58,180 --> 01:05:04,440
Thanks very much, Tom. You're a fucking legend. Thank you.

813
01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:05,660
No problem.

814
01:05:07,420 --> 01:05:09,680
Enjoy the... Enjoy your fare for a bit, though.

815
01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:11,160
Bye-bye.

816
01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:39,160
*repeat*

817
01:05:39,160 --> 01:05:48,040
Yeah. Yeah. Zit.

818
01:05:48,820 --> 01:05:50,900
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, boo.

819
01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:53,700
Should get that back again.

820
01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:57,860
Really hammer that fucking title sequence there.

821
01:06:03,220 --> 01:06:04,640
Suppose you're out in the...

822
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:06,980
Here we go. Oh, it's lovely.

823
01:06:06,980 --> 01:06:36,960
Here we go.

824
01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:45,380
Just point the antenna up into the sky toward the satellite, press the right buttons, and it tells you exactly where on the earth you are and how to get to where you're trying to go.

825
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:49,320
But suppose it's getting dark and you just want to call home and have them pick you up.

826
01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:54,000
Then you need your own satellite uplink, like this NEC satellite phone.

827
01:06:54,000 --> 01:07:02,140
Just open up the dish, point it toward the satellite in the sky, turn it on, open the door, take out the phone, and phone home.

828
01:07:02,420 --> 01:07:08,380
These are just two of the neat computer gadgets you're going to see on our annual Computer Consumers Buying Guide show.

829
01:07:08,700 --> 01:07:13,140
Lots of neat gadgets in store on this edition of the Computer Chronicles.

830
01:07:13,140 --> 01:07:36,700
Computer Chronicles is made possible in part by Hewlett Packard, working with industry leaders to ensure compatibility across the board and across the network.

831
01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:41,220
And with the PCs, you're looking at partnership in a whole new light.

832
01:07:43,140 --> 01:07:46,340
Additional funding is provided by LaserJet printers from Hewlett Packard.

833
01:07:46,680 --> 01:07:50,720
Everything from a new color solution to models designed specifically for small businesses.

834
01:07:51,240 --> 01:07:52,360
HP LaserJet printers.

835
01:07:52,820 --> 01:07:54,660
You do your job, we'll do ours.

836
01:07:55,060 --> 01:07:57,020
And the Software Publishers Association.

837
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:04,020
Welcome to the Computer Chronicles.

838
01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:08,060
I'm Stuart Schiffey, and with me today is Tim Baharin, president of Creative Strategies.

839
01:08:08,420 --> 01:08:12,200
Tim, we're looking at all kinds of neat toys and gadgets, computer hardware, and software for the season.

840
01:08:12,420 --> 01:08:17,100
You're going to start by showing us something called the Interactive Technical Manual for the USS Enterprise.

841
01:08:17,380 --> 01:08:17,980
What is this?

842
01:08:18,100 --> 01:08:25,260
This is the first technology that Apple has used with the virtual reality engine, and it's on the Star Trek Enterprise.

843
01:08:25,260 --> 01:08:31,000
We're going to go to the guided tour here and just take a quick look of what it looks like to put QuickTime VR in this.

844
01:08:31,060 --> 01:08:34,820
We're going to go to the bridge, and we're going to actually have a chance to take a look.

845
01:08:35,160 --> 01:08:36,120
Have we seen this one?

846
01:08:38,440 --> 01:08:43,980
I've seen a Star Trek sequence on the fucking Computer Chronicles before.

847
01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:51,520
Look at what it would be like if we were standing on the bridge itself, and we're able to look around.

848
01:08:51,860 --> 01:08:55,000
This is one of the aspects of the QuickTime engine that's so unique.

849
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:11,840
Please let me know in the chat box.

850
01:09:11,840 --> 01:09:15,780
I don't want to start the episode on one that we've seen before.

851
01:09:17,460 --> 01:09:37,180
Thank you very much.

852
01:09:37,180 --> 01:09:38,100
Dana Garvin.

853
01:09:38,100 --> 01:09:39,020
Thank you very much.

854
01:09:40,480 --> 01:09:40,880
We'll play that.

855
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:47,140
Instead of a linear movie, I now have a virtual reality movie, and I can be looking at it as if I'm standing there.

856
01:09:47,220 --> 01:09:48,280
I can zoom in.

857
01:09:48,700 --> 01:09:52,820
I can turn to the right, turn to the left, a full 360 to see what's going on.

858
01:09:52,880 --> 01:09:59,440
And again, this is the Apple QuickTime virtual reality engine that's being applied now to this Star Trek Enterprise Interactive Manual.

859
01:09:59,520 --> 01:10:04,860
And it's really an exciting piece of technology that will be established in the future and be added to many other products.

860
01:10:04,980 --> 01:10:05,460
That's really neat.

861
01:10:05,520 --> 01:10:08,920
So you're really in control, and you can walk anywhere you want around the enterprise.

862
01:10:09,100 --> 01:10:09,200
Right.

863
01:10:09,300 --> 01:10:10,060
It's really neat.

864
01:10:10,060 --> 01:10:12,640
Okay, that's for people who want to play Captain Kirk or Captain Picard, whatever.

865
01:10:12,960 --> 01:10:13,860
Some people want to be evil.

866
01:10:14,360 --> 01:10:17,240
Check out Stu's data stick there.

867
01:10:17,860 --> 01:10:19,680
Some people want to be evil.

868
01:10:19,760 --> 01:10:21,960
Some people want to be Captain Kirk.

869
01:10:22,360 --> 01:10:24,340
Some want to be Captain Picard.

870
01:10:24,900 --> 01:10:26,540
Some people want to be evil.

871
01:10:26,600 --> 01:10:29,100
Knievel with my cheeky little Knievel stick.

872
01:10:30,460 --> 01:10:33,420
What happens when you plug this little baby into the machine?

873
01:10:33,560 --> 01:10:35,360
Do we go into cyberspace?

874
01:10:40,260 --> 01:10:41,420
Are we going...

875
01:10:41,420 --> 01:10:44,220
Badge man, tell me.

876
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:47,260
Are we going into cyberspace with this?

877
01:10:47,780 --> 01:10:51,320
Knievel and risk their lives, but not really take a chance on breaking all their bones like he does.

878
01:10:51,320 --> 01:10:52,760
If you play lots of...

879
01:10:52,760 --> 01:10:56,520
Breaking all their bones like he does.

880
01:10:56,520 --> 01:11:00,760
Be evil Knievel and risk their lives, but not really take a chance on breaking all their bones like he does.

881
01:11:00,940 --> 01:11:04,300
If you play lots of action video games, use a normal joystick like this.

882
01:11:04,360 --> 01:11:06,480
Well, that's pretty boring if you're trying to ride a car or...

883
01:11:06,480 --> 01:11:07,880
Have you heard the noise in the background?

884
01:11:08,100 --> 01:11:12,380
There's gay music coming through, and it's like a drum beat or something.

885
01:11:12,380 --> 01:11:15,540
Play lots of action video games, use a normal joystick like this.

886
01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:18,160
Well, that's pretty boring if you're trying to ride a car or a motorcycle.

887
01:11:18,660 --> 01:11:22,700
Over there, we have our production assistant, Bev Black, in the simulator action chair.

888
01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:27,640
She's actually sitting on the joystick, because that's how she's running that motorcycle there.

889
01:11:27,720 --> 01:11:29,720
She leans to the left, the bike goes to the left.

890
01:11:29,780 --> 01:11:32,480
She leans to the right, the bike goes to the right.

891
01:11:32,480 --> 01:11:36,920
She's got the button controls in her hands there, but her body is actually doing the most natural thing,

892
01:11:37,200 --> 01:11:37,820
as if it crashes.

893
01:11:37,980 --> 01:11:38,320
It's not real.

894
01:11:38,480 --> 01:11:39,260
But it's actually...

895
01:11:39,260 --> 01:11:40,480
Over there, we have our production assistant.

896
01:11:40,480 --> 01:11:45,480
Over there, we have our production assistant.

897
01:11:45,480 --> 01:11:56,080
Look at the way in which the woman leans from left to right.

898
01:11:56,080 --> 01:12:05,280
When she leans in the chair, it moves the bike on the screen.

899
01:12:05,280 --> 01:12:09,020
She's got a pink motorcycle.

900
01:12:10,740 --> 01:12:15,220
She's got a pink motorcycle on the screen.

901
01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:28,920
Because that's how she's running that motorcycle there.

902
01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:31,000
She leans to the left, the bike goes to the left.

903
01:12:31,060 --> 01:12:33,760
She leans to the right, the bike goes to the right.

904
01:12:33,760 --> 01:12:38,180
She's got the button controls in her hands there, but her body is actually doing the most natural thing,

905
01:12:38,380 --> 01:12:39,920
as if she were on that real motorbike.

906
01:12:40,240 --> 01:12:40,960
It's the...

907
01:12:40,960 --> 01:12:41,360
Oh!

908
01:12:42,080 --> 01:12:43,980
But she doesn't break her bones when she crashes.

909
01:12:44,100 --> 01:12:45,180
See, that's the beauty of it.

910
01:12:45,440 --> 01:12:49,460
That's the Simulator Action Chair, the world's most expensive joystick, but it's really great.

911
01:12:50,100 --> 01:12:52,320
$279 from Simulator Technology.

912
01:12:52,620 --> 01:12:54,680
All right, Tim, you're going to be back with us a little bit later on.

913
01:12:54,900 --> 01:12:59,060
We'll also be joined by Heidi Roizen of Teemaker and Paul Schindler of Windows Magazine.

914
01:12:59,060 --> 01:13:03,080
Oh, it's all coming into fruition.

915
01:13:03,480 --> 01:13:07,860
Baby Paul Schindler's on the sauce.

916
01:13:08,060 --> 01:13:10,780
For their picks of the best new computer gadgets of the season.

917
01:13:11,180 --> 01:13:15,860
Now, we're going to help you decide maybe what to buy today, but how do you decide where to buy it?

918
01:13:16,020 --> 01:13:19,700
A mail order house, a superstore, or a neighborhood computer shop?

919
01:13:19,840 --> 01:13:20,780
Here's some good advice.

920
01:13:20,780 --> 01:13:26,780
Faced with stacks of software, all claiming to be easy to use, and...

921
01:13:26,780 --> 01:13:27,700
Fat32!

922
01:13:28,040 --> 01:13:31,740
...computers, almost any shopper could become dizzy with confusion.

923
01:13:32,200 --> 01:13:33,260
Fat32!

924
01:13:33,520 --> 01:13:37,800
...retailers are meant to step in and help, and even when they do, it's not enough.

925
01:13:39,060 --> 01:13:39,540
Fat32!

926
01:13:40,540 --> 01:13:43,680
Thanks very much there, Tobes, for the lean hauser.

927
01:13:44,220 --> 01:13:46,220
And all I've got to say to you, Tobes, is...

928
01:13:46,220 --> 01:13:49,540
You don't tend to think about the hip-hop culture.

929
01:13:49,800 --> 01:13:50,320
Fat32!

930
01:13:50,840 --> 01:13:52,960
All about rap music and the hip-hop scene.

931
01:13:53,060 --> 01:13:53,660
Fat32!

932
01:13:54,240 --> 01:13:57,120
I don't travel in those circles, I don't get to talk to those guys.

933
01:13:57,220 --> 01:13:57,500
Those guys.

934
01:13:57,680 --> 01:13:58,160
Fat32!

935
01:13:58,420 --> 01:14:00,400
But I did get to talk to them in this chatroom.

936
01:14:00,500 --> 01:14:01,020
Fat32!

937
01:14:01,260 --> 01:14:02,660
Hip-hop chatroom I went into.

938
01:14:03,600 --> 01:14:05,440
I don't know a lot about the hip-hop scene, but...

939
01:14:05,440 --> 01:14:05,980
Fat32!

940
01:14:06,040 --> 01:14:06,380
Really?

941
01:14:06,700 --> 01:14:07,220
I do now!

942
01:14:07,940 --> 01:14:10,600
I don't travel in those circles, I don't get to talk to those guys.

943
01:14:10,760 --> 01:14:11,280
Fat32!

944
01:14:11,740 --> 01:14:14,040
Man, I learned a lot about what really goes on in that world.

945
01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:16,040
Fat32!

946
01:14:19,040 --> 01:14:19,680
Fat32!

947
01:14:20,620 --> 01:14:23,840
And even when they use row upon row of look-alike computers,

948
01:14:24,400 --> 01:14:26,960
almost any shopper could become dizzy with confusion.

949
01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:30,580
That's when computer retailers are meant to step in and help.

950
01:14:30,900 --> 01:14:32,780
And even when they do, it's not enough.

951
01:14:32,780 --> 01:14:36,560
Check out these smooth dudes from the fucking 90s, look.

952
01:14:37,520 --> 01:14:38,440
Brown suit.

953
01:14:38,760 --> 01:14:39,480
It's a fucking...

954
01:14:39,480 --> 01:14:40,840
It's a ballsy move.

955
01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:43,200
You combine it with the black shirt.

956
01:14:43,200 --> 01:14:45,200
You know he's fucking...

957
01:14:45,200 --> 01:14:47,640
He's rocking the main stage.

958
01:14:48,560 --> 01:14:50,200
Fucking swag man do.

959
01:14:52,000 --> 01:14:53,900
Solid head of hair on him as well.

960
01:14:54,560 --> 01:14:56,380
Bushy Bob from Arimathea.

961
01:14:57,260 --> 01:14:57,580
Enough.

962
01:14:58,200 --> 01:14:59,800
A lot of our customers come in.

963
01:15:00,920 --> 01:15:04,920
They are, in addition to being confused about first-time buying decisions...

964
01:15:04,920 --> 01:15:06,280
Laurie Hale.

965
01:15:06,280 --> 01:15:12,200
...that they have to make about equipment, they actually don't know what software is appropriate for them to use,

966
01:15:12,200 --> 01:15:15,560
and once they have it, don't know how to use it as well.

967
01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:16,920
A lot of...

968
01:15:16,920 --> 01:15:19,520
Lovely use of the word whence there.

969
01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:21,520
Let's have a look at that again, listen to that whence.

970
01:15:21,520 --> 01:15:23,520
W-H-E-N-C-E.

971
01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:25,520
We don't really hear it that much these days.

972
01:15:25,520 --> 01:15:26,520
...make about equipment.

973
01:15:26,520 --> 01:15:34,520
They actually don't know what software is appropriate for them to use, and once they have it, don't know how to use it as well.

974
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:43,520
A lot of individuals might not even be purchasers of software, but for their job, they are thrown into an environment where they need...

975
01:15:43,520 --> 01:15:45,520
People are saying it was once.

976
01:15:45,520 --> 01:15:47,520
She says once, not whence.

977
01:15:47,520 --> 01:15:52,520
...to learn how to use a program very quickly in order to function in their job.

978
01:15:52,520 --> 01:16:02,520
The massive CompUSA store in Emeryville, California, has gone so far as to offer classes in software use.

979
01:16:02,520 --> 01:16:06,520
The massive CompUSA store in the world.

980
01:16:06,520 --> 01:16:08,520
Look at that book.

981
01:16:08,520 --> 01:16:14,520
He's listening in intently.

982
01:16:14,520 --> 01:16:18,520
He's really enjoying this...

983
01:16:18,520 --> 01:16:21,520
Big time.

984
01:16:22,520 --> 01:16:29,520
This fella looks like the man from The Office

985
01:16:29,520 --> 01:16:39,520
Who played the American version of Gareth in The Office.

986
01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:45,520
Who's this groovy looking cool cat?

987
01:16:45,520 --> 01:16:49,520
He's a groovy looking cool cat.

988
01:16:49,520 --> 01:16:59,520
Somebody let him into the house and give him a pint of milk.

989
01:16:59,520 --> 01:17:01,520
Years.

990
01:17:01,520 --> 01:17:03,520
Even at $150...

991
01:17:05,520 --> 01:17:07,520
Was the voice...

992
01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:08,520
Was the voice on...

993
01:17:08,520 --> 01:17:10,520
The voice modulator thing on then?

994
01:17:12,520 --> 01:17:15,520
When I said all that stuff about them listening...

995
01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:17,520
Oh, thank fuck for that.

996
01:17:17,520 --> 01:17:18,520
...dollars per quarter...

997
01:17:18,520 --> 01:17:19,360
...dollars per quarter...

998
01:17:19,360 --> 01:17:21,360
Sorry, just want to go back...

999
01:17:21,360 --> 01:17:22,360
We need to...

1000
01:17:22,360 --> 01:17:23,360
We need...

1001
01:17:23,360 --> 01:17:25,360
Need to hear it again.

1002
01:17:25,360 --> 01:17:31,360
A fine selection of faces...

1003
01:17:31,360 --> 01:17:35,360
A lovely moustache...

1004
01:17:35,360 --> 01:17:47,360
And a beautiful hidden gem behind him.

1005
01:17:47,360 --> 01:17:49,360
Finger on the mouse...

1006
01:17:49,360 --> 01:17:53,360
You've got the finger on the mouse...

1007
01:17:53,360 --> 01:17:57,360
Tonight...

1008
01:17:57,360 --> 01:18:07,260
Lovely kind of vaporwave, Windows 95 poster in the background.

1009
01:18:09,260 --> 01:18:12,820
Kind of fucking computer clouds.

1010
01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:19,040
Funny nowadays, computer cloud means something different.

1011
01:18:19,240 --> 01:18:23,200
Maybe they were anticipating it.

1012
01:18:24,620 --> 01:18:30,540
Of course, the day and evening classes fill up quickly, and CompUSA sees other advantages

1013
01:18:30,540 --> 01:18:33,980
to its Supercenter stores like size and selection.

1014
01:18:33,980 --> 01:18:39,400
Taking a different approach are the small individual merchants like Winner's Circle

1015
01:18:39,400 --> 01:18:44,860
in neighboring Berkeley, whose owner thinks personal service is more important than a large warehouse.

1016
01:18:44,860 --> 01:18:49,200
The difference in our store from most of the stores is that we don't have commissioned salespeople.

1017
01:18:49,200 --> 01:18:53,660
So we have a large tech staff that's able to answer questions from people that are having problems.

1018
01:18:53,660 --> 01:18:56,380
We'll educate a person that they know nothing about a computer.

1019
01:18:56,380 --> 01:18:59,580
I think we're able to talk in simple language to explain what it does.

1020
01:18:59,580 --> 01:19:04,900
There's always going to be a customer that requires hand-holding, and for that customer, our store's idea--

1021
01:19:04,900 --> 01:19:07,020
Hand-holding. --is going to go out and hold their hand.

1022
01:19:07,020 --> 01:19:10,420
If they're afraid to assemble their computer, we'll go to their place and put it together for them.

1023
01:19:10,420 --> 01:19:11,220
Buyers--

1024
01:19:11,220 --> 01:19:13,580
Literally go to your house and hold your hand.

1025
01:19:13,580 --> 01:19:20,460
--intimidated by any kind of store, can always order by mail, where the prices are often lower, but the service can be minimal.

1026
01:19:20,460 --> 01:19:31,700
Computer shoppers are sometimes wary of buying by mail, fearing that once the product is delivered, the support vanishes. But mail order houses say that doesn't necessarily follow.

1027
01:19:31,700 --> 01:19:50,420
The value of purchasing through us is you get toll-free technical support before the sale or after the sale. We'll be willing to take you through a solution discussion on the phone. As I said earlier, bring in a number of experts, technical experts. And once you make the purchase with us, we offer not only a long-term warranty, but technical support. You call us at any time, any time of the day, 1:00 in the morning, and we'll solve your problem for you. For the Computer Chronicles, I'm Victoria Smith.

1028
01:19:50,420 --> 01:19:57,420
Okay, we're back with Tim Baharan and we're going to take a look at some neat things for Windows machines and PCs, etc. Tim, first of all, we're going to take a look at some neat things for Windows machines and PCs, etc.

1029
01:19:57,420 --> 01:20:00,420
For the Computer Chronicles, I'm Victoria Smith.

1030
01:20:14,420 --> 01:20:19,420
Okay, we're back with Tim Baharan, and we're going to take a look at some neat things for Windows machines and PCs, etc.

1031
01:20:19,420 --> 01:20:25,420
Tim, first thing I want to show you is this. It's Handwriter for Windows from CIC, Communications Intelligence Corporation.

1032
01:20:25,420 --> 01:20:30,420
It's pen input, handwriting recognition, mouse control, anything you want it to be.

1033
01:20:30,420 --> 01:20:33,420
The main thing I like about this, it comes bundled with a collection of crossword puzzles.

1034
01:20:33,420 --> 01:20:37,420
And not only crossword puzzles, let me get in here and pick a puzzle.

1035
01:20:37,420 --> 01:20:44,420
You can do these puzzles and actually write on your board here, and let's see, the question was elevate, so let's guess the answer is lift.

1036
01:20:44,420 --> 01:20:48,420
And I can just handwrite in my answer, and the recognition takes care of it.

1037
01:20:48,420 --> 01:20:53,420
If I wanted to go five across happy, should we guess glad and see if that works?

1038
01:20:53,420 --> 01:20:55,420
Pretty neat.

1039
01:20:55,420 --> 01:21:00,420
It's really a lot of fun, and if you have nothing else to do, you spend a lot of time doing these crossword puzzles.

1040
01:21:00,420 --> 01:21:05,420
Okay, if you don't want to do pen input, and if you're into keyboards, I want to show you one other thing.

1041
01:21:05,420 --> 01:21:08,420
This is the ultimate ergonomic keyboard from Lexmark.

1042
01:21:08,420 --> 01:21:12,420
You know the problem of your wrists and all those carpal tunnel problems when you're in this unnatural position?

1043
01:21:12,420 --> 01:21:17,420
First thing you can do with the Lexmark keyboard, as you can see, you just split it down the middle.

1044
01:21:17,420 --> 01:21:19,420
That gives you a straight line from your wrist to your hand.

1045
01:21:19,420 --> 01:21:20,420
Solves one of the problems.

1046
01:21:20,420 --> 01:21:21,420
You're still at an awkward angle.

1047
01:21:21,420 --> 01:21:26,420
The next thing you can do with this keyboard is bend it up, crack it right in the middle like that.

1048
01:21:26,420 --> 01:21:28,420
It looks ridiculous, I know, but try it for a while.

1049
01:21:28,420 --> 01:21:31,420
It's the most comfortable, natural position to type in.

1050
01:21:31,420 --> 01:21:35,420
When you do this for a while, and you go back to that flat position, you realize how much strain you're really putting on your wrists and fingers all the time.

1051
01:21:35,420 --> 01:21:36,420
It really is interesting.

1052
01:21:36,420 --> 01:21:38,420
You've got a couple of neat toys there.

1053
01:21:38,420 --> 01:21:39,420
What do you got, Tim?

1054
01:21:39,420 --> 01:21:40,420
Sure.

1055
01:21:40,420 --> 01:21:44,420
First thing I'm going to show you is the digital recorder from Norris called Flashback.

1056
01:21:44,420 --> 01:21:47,420
It's in shops right now.

1057
01:21:47,420 --> 01:21:57,420
Sharper Image has it for $249, and it's basically got one meg of RAM on this thing, and gives you, with this one for $249, 30 minutes of actual taper time.

1058
01:21:57,420 --> 01:22:03,420
So what we do is we push the record button, and we can actually stop it now, and then play it back.

1059
01:22:03,420 --> 01:22:06,420
We push the record button, and we can actually stop it.

1060
01:22:06,420 --> 01:22:11,420
But what makes this unique is what they have is a PCMCIA IC card clip.

1061
01:22:11,420 --> 01:22:16,420
It's compatible with the PCMCIA PC card standard, so you could actually, with the adapter, download it as an-

1062
01:22:16,420 --> 01:22:17,420
Wow.

1063
01:22:17,420 --> 01:22:18,420
PCI card standard.

1064
01:22:18,420 --> 01:22:21,420
And this is a voice recording device.

1065
01:22:21,420 --> 01:22:23,420
1994, remember.

1066
01:22:23,420 --> 01:22:26,420
Looks like it's tapeless.

1067
01:22:26,420 --> 01:22:31,420
It's digitizing your voice onto a fucking memory slot.

1068
01:22:31,420 --> 01:22:33,420
Thank you very much, Rosco Bosco.

1069
01:22:33,420 --> 01:22:34,420
Very, very kind of you.

1070
01:22:34,420 --> 01:22:39,420
This is before you Universal Serial Bus.

1071
01:22:39,420 --> 01:22:40,420
Okay?

1072
01:22:40,420 --> 01:22:48,420
Maybe not before Universal Serial Bus, but definitely before it was widely adapted as a thing.

1073
01:22:48,420 --> 01:22:50,420
As an actual voice file to your computer.

1074
01:22:50,420 --> 01:22:55,420
It's really a neat little product, and because it's not tape, it can go to any place very quickly.

1075
01:22:55,420 --> 01:22:56,420
That's great.

1076
01:22:56,420 --> 01:22:59,420
Another product I'm going to show you is the Glide Point from Cirque Corporation.

1077
01:22:59,420 --> 01:23:00,420
Ivan the Terrible, thank you very much.

1078
01:23:00,420 --> 01:23:02,420
This is now on the shelf for Windows-based machines.

1079
01:23:02,420 --> 01:23:06,420
And this is the similar touchpad that's in the new Macintosh PowerBooks.

1080
01:23:06,420 --> 01:23:15,420
And as you can see on the screen, I can take this and literally very, very fast take the cursor and move it all over and reposition it.

1081
01:23:15,420 --> 01:23:18,420
It's one of the most natural inputs and speedy inputs.

1082
01:23:18,420 --> 01:23:22,420
But one of the more amazing little products we've come across recently is this.

1083
01:23:22,420 --> 01:23:26,420
This is from Pentax Corporation, and this is actually a printer.

1084
01:23:26,420 --> 01:23:27,420
That little thing is a printer.

1085
01:23:27,420 --> 01:23:28,420
That's right.

1086
01:23:28,420 --> 01:23:30,420
It's a thermal printer here.

1087
01:23:30,420 --> 01:23:32,420
Thank you very much, Pineapple.

1088
01:23:32,420 --> 01:23:34,420
It says, "Happy Shafimus."

1089
01:23:34,420 --> 01:23:36,420
"Prints at 300 dpi."

1090
01:23:36,420 --> 01:23:37,420
Wow.

1091
01:23:37,420 --> 01:23:41,420
Look at Stu's earning the money here pretending to be interested.

1092
01:23:41,420 --> 01:23:47,420
Look at that absolute look of pure fucking exquisite intrigue.

1093
01:23:47,420 --> 01:23:50,420
That little thing there.

1094
01:23:50,420 --> 01:23:51,420
Wow.

1095
01:23:51,420 --> 01:23:52,420
Wow.

1096
01:23:52,420 --> 01:23:54,420
That thing is a printer.

1097
01:23:54,420 --> 01:23:55,420
That's right.

1098
01:23:55,420 --> 01:23:56,420
It's a thermal printer.

1099
01:23:56,420 --> 01:23:57,420
Prints at 300 dpi.

1100
01:23:57,420 --> 01:24:00,420
Beautiful little head shake there.

1101
01:24:00,420 --> 01:24:03,420
It's just straight out of the fucking playbook.

1102
01:24:03,420 --> 01:24:06,420
It's straight out of Stu's little playbook.

1103
01:24:06,420 --> 01:24:07,420
Look.

1104
01:24:07,420 --> 01:24:08,420
Just that there.

1105
01:24:08,420 --> 01:24:09,420
Don't tell.

1106
01:24:09,420 --> 01:24:10,420
Show.

1107
01:24:10,420 --> 01:24:11,420
Show don't tell.

1108
01:24:11,420 --> 01:24:15,420
That's what they all say, you know, in the biz.

1109
01:24:15,420 --> 01:24:17,420
And here, he's not saying it.

1110
01:24:17,420 --> 01:24:18,420
He's showing it.

1111
01:24:18,420 --> 01:24:20,420
Fucking dynamism of this man.

1112
01:24:20,420 --> 01:24:21,420
That little thing is a printer.

1113
01:24:21,420 --> 01:24:22,420
That's right.

1114
01:24:22,420 --> 01:24:23,420
It's a thermal printer.

1115
01:24:23,420 --> 01:24:24,420
Wow.

1116
01:24:24,420 --> 01:24:25,420
It's a thermal printer.

1117
01:24:25,420 --> 01:24:26,420
Wow.

1118
01:24:26,420 --> 01:24:27,420
Prints at 300 dpi.

1119
01:24:27,420 --> 01:24:29,420
And three pages per minute.

1120
01:24:29,420 --> 01:24:30,420
It's...

1121
01:24:30,420 --> 01:24:31,420
Oh.

1122
01:24:31,420 --> 01:24:32,420
Sorry.

1123
01:24:32,420 --> 01:24:33,420
The follow up nod as well.

1124
01:24:33,420 --> 01:24:35,420
Prints at 300 dpi.

1125
01:24:35,420 --> 01:24:36,420
First, you've got that.

1126
01:24:36,420 --> 01:24:37,420
The reckoning.

1127
01:24:37,420 --> 01:24:38,420
The confusion.

1128
01:24:38,420 --> 01:24:42,420
The coming to terms with what he's been faced with.

1129
01:24:42,420 --> 01:24:44,420
Then the confirmation.

1130
01:24:44,420 --> 01:24:47,420
And three pages per minute.

1131
01:24:47,420 --> 01:24:48,420
Boom.

1132
01:24:48,420 --> 01:24:49,420
Right there.

1133
01:24:49,420 --> 01:24:50,420
Sensual stew.

1134
01:24:50,420 --> 01:24:53,420
A classic maneuver.

1135
01:24:53,420 --> 01:24:56,420
It's going to go up there in the top 15, I'd say.

1136
01:24:56,420 --> 01:24:58,420
It's portable.

1137
01:24:58,420 --> 01:25:00,420
So it's basically with batteries.

1138
01:25:00,420 --> 01:25:03,420
And the actual output is phenomenal.

1139
01:25:03,420 --> 01:25:05,420
Lovely feedback.

1140
01:25:05,420 --> 01:25:07,420
I know it's a real one.

1141
01:25:07,420 --> 01:25:09,420
And then I'm not just fucking talking shite one.

1142
01:25:09,420 --> 01:25:10,420
I can see in the chat.

1143
01:25:10,420 --> 01:25:11,420
People are fucking loving it.

1144
01:25:11,420 --> 01:25:13,420
A classic, says Johnson Lobster.

1145
01:25:13,420 --> 01:25:15,420
Look of incredulity, says Sam.

1146
01:25:17,420 --> 01:25:19,420
Acceptance.

1147
01:25:19,420 --> 01:25:20,420
Greatest.

1148
01:25:20,420 --> 01:25:21,420
Goat.

1149
01:25:21,420 --> 01:25:23,420
Greatest of all time.

1150
01:25:23,420 --> 01:25:26,420
Top 15 nods head.

1151
01:25:26,420 --> 01:25:29,420
It's unreal, says 20 fucking years.

1152
01:25:29,420 --> 01:25:30,420
And also.

1153
01:25:30,420 --> 01:25:34,420
This is fucking crazy, says Dewey as well.

1154
01:25:34,420 --> 01:25:35,420
Sorry about the language.

1155
01:25:35,420 --> 01:25:37,420
I'm only reading what's there in the text box.

1156
01:25:37,420 --> 01:25:38,420
Okay.

1157
01:25:38,420 --> 01:25:42,420
Thanks very much, Mr. Buttons and Paul Meschgl.

1158
01:25:42,420 --> 01:25:46,420
Look at this printed document that the Badge Meister has at the ready.

1159
01:25:46,420 --> 01:25:49,420
Actually with this thermal paper, have full 300.

1160
01:25:49,420 --> 01:25:51,420
Welcome to the Computer Chronicles.

1161
01:25:51,420 --> 01:25:53,420
A really cool show.

1162
01:25:53,420 --> 01:25:57,420
Using the Pentax Pocket Jet portable PC printing.

1163
01:25:57,420 --> 01:26:00,420
DPI as if I would have on a laser printer.

1164
01:26:00,420 --> 01:26:05,420
So now, instead of having to fax my stuff down at a hotel,

1165
01:26:05,420 --> 01:26:08,420
I can take this little 17 ounce printer with me everywhere on the road.

1166
01:26:08,420 --> 01:26:11,420
This is $499, just hits the streets this month.

1167
01:26:11,420 --> 01:26:12,420
Pentax Pocket Jet, that's really cool.

1168
01:26:12,420 --> 01:26:13,420
Yes, on the road.

1169
01:26:13,420 --> 01:26:15,420
This is $499, just hits the streets this month.

1170
01:26:15,420 --> 01:26:15,580
Yes.

1171
01:26:15,580 --> 01:26:19,580
I never noticed the fucking Badge's fingers.

1172
01:26:19,580 --> 01:26:21,580
Fucking badged.

1173
01:26:21,580 --> 01:26:24,580
Did not notice that until now.

1174
01:26:24,580 --> 01:26:29,580
...streets this month.

1175
01:26:29,580 --> 01:26:31,580
Pentax Pocket Jet, that's really cool.

1176
01:26:31,580 --> 01:26:32,580
Yes.

1177
01:26:32,580 --> 01:26:33,580
Thanks a lot.

1178
01:26:33,580 --> 01:26:35,580
Let's go over here and join Heidi Roizen, CEO of Teammaker Company.

1179
01:26:35,580 --> 01:26:36,580
Thanks, Dewey.

1180
01:26:36,580 --> 01:26:37,580
And you have some neat stuff to show us here.

1181
01:26:37,580 --> 01:26:38,580
What are we going to start with?

1182
01:26:38,580 --> 01:26:40,580
Well, I'm going to start with Vroombook Strato-Wackius.

1183
01:26:40,580 --> 01:26:41,580
Okay, so this is it.

1184
01:26:41,580 --> 01:26:42,580
This is Strato-Wackius over here.

1185
01:26:42,580 --> 01:26:43,580
Right.

1186
01:26:43,580 --> 01:26:45,580
Elaborate PC box packaging.

1187
01:26:45,580 --> 01:26:47,580
It's got a little window in it.

1188
01:26:47,580 --> 01:26:49,580
It sounds like violins, music.

1189
01:26:49,580 --> 01:26:53,580
Strato-Wackius is fun with music for the early learning audience.

1190
01:26:53,580 --> 01:26:58,580
What I've started here with is one of the many pages that you can use with the product.

1191
01:26:58,580 --> 01:26:59,580
And what this one is, is an instrument builder.

1192
01:26:59,580 --> 01:27:01,580
Hair scenario, which could warrant googly eyes.

1193
01:27:01,580 --> 01:27:02,580
And what this one is, is an instrument builder.

1194
01:27:02,580 --> 01:27:08,580
But I don't think they have that kind of Jim Henson, Muppets, kind of Fraggle Rock.

1195
01:27:08,580 --> 01:27:12,580
It doesn't have the Fraggle Rock mystique, her hair doesn't.

1196
01:27:12,580 --> 01:27:16,580
Like if you were to googly eye that, it wouldn't work.

1197
01:27:16,580 --> 01:27:18,580
For the early learning audience.

1198
01:27:18,580 --> 01:27:23,580
And what I've started here with is one of the many pages that you can use with the product.

1199
01:27:23,580 --> 01:27:27,580
And what this one is, is an instrument builder.

1200
01:27:27,580 --> 01:27:31,580
And obviously we're using some instruments here that you may not normally see.

1201
01:27:31,580 --> 01:27:33,580
There are over a thousand combinations you can come up with.

1202
01:27:33,580 --> 01:27:35,580
And it's a lot of fun for kids to go through.

1203
01:27:35,580 --> 01:27:38,580
I want to hear what a silly straw might sound like as an instrument.

1204
01:27:38,580 --> 01:27:40,580
Maybe a muffler, a fish ball.

1205
01:27:40,580 --> 01:27:42,580
So let's pull something together here.

1206
01:27:42,580 --> 01:27:44,580
There's actually some pretty cool...

1207
01:27:44,580 --> 01:27:46,580
It looks absolutely disgusting.

1208
01:27:46,580 --> 01:27:49,580
This machine, this game that she's premiering there.

1209
01:27:49,580 --> 01:27:51,580
Swedish monkey SWAT team, thank you very much.

1210
01:27:51,580 --> 01:27:53,580
Hello Francis, Tom, Connor and all.

1211
01:27:53,580 --> 01:27:55,580
Merry Christmas, been a long time.

1212
01:27:55,580 --> 01:27:58,580
And looking forward to lots more.

1213
01:27:58,580 --> 01:28:00,580
Have you seen any chimps snaking about?

1214
01:28:00,580 --> 01:28:03,580
There's been a zoo break.

1215
01:28:03,580 --> 01:28:04,580
No, we haven't.

1216
01:28:04,580 --> 01:28:07,580
And sure, all the chimps got fucking taken down.

1217
01:28:07,580 --> 01:28:10,580
SWAT 32 by the Swedes.

1218
01:28:11,580 --> 01:28:13,580
They filled them full of lead.

1219
01:28:13,580 --> 01:28:15,580
Heckler and cock.

1220
01:28:15,580 --> 01:28:17,580
Monkey go bye-bye.

1221
01:28:17,580 --> 01:28:18,580
No funeral.

1222
01:28:18,580 --> 01:28:19,580
Closed casket.

1223
01:28:19,580 --> 01:28:21,580
I heard that they took the monkeys that they killed.

1224
01:28:22,580 --> 01:28:24,580
Gave them a fucking sea burial, man.

1225
01:28:25,580 --> 01:28:29,580
Because they didn't want people fucking going to their grave, making a shrine of their graves.

1226
01:28:29,580 --> 01:28:34,580
It's just another CIA black side fucking top secret op gone wrong.

1227
01:28:34,580 --> 01:28:35,580
Complex software.

1228
01:28:35,580 --> 01:28:39,580
That's because Sweden joined NATO there recently enough.

1229
01:28:40,580 --> 01:28:41,580
You know?

1230
01:28:41,580 --> 01:28:42,580
Here.

1231
01:28:42,580 --> 01:28:45,580
That morphs these together to create an instrument for you.

1232
01:28:45,580 --> 01:28:47,580
So we're building our instrument right now.

1233
01:28:48,580 --> 01:28:54,580
And we even considered shipping this product with headphones because we think kids are going to play with this an awful lot.

1234
01:28:54,580 --> 01:28:55,580
But you can build an instrument.

1235
01:28:55,580 --> 01:28:56,580
Mm-hmm.

1236
01:28:56,580 --> 01:28:59,580
And now you're able to hear what that instrument sounds like.

1237
01:28:59,580 --> 01:29:03,580
And if you really want to drive mom and dad crazy, let's play a little song with it.

1238
01:29:03,580 --> 01:29:04,580
That is really cool.

1239
01:29:04,580 --> 01:29:05,580
It's a lot of fun there.

1240
01:29:05,580 --> 01:29:06,580
Over 40 pages of activity.

1241
01:29:06,580 --> 01:29:07,580
Absolute dog shit.

1242
01:29:07,580 --> 01:29:09,580
Pure dog shit technology.

1243
01:29:09,580 --> 01:29:11,580
And I think that Stu knows that.

1244
01:29:11,580 --> 01:29:15,580
We're not even getting any shots of Stu's face.

1245
01:29:16,580 --> 01:29:23,580
Which suggests to me that he's not even making any effort to, you know, to big this product up.

1246
01:29:23,580 --> 01:29:25,580
Probably a face of contempt.

1247
01:29:25,580 --> 01:29:26,580
And the director has gone.

1248
01:29:26,580 --> 01:29:27,580
Do you know what?

1249
01:29:27,580 --> 01:29:29,580
Let's not cut to Stu here.

1250
01:29:29,580 --> 01:29:30,580
Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

1251
01:29:30,580 --> 01:29:31,580
Thank you very much.

1252
01:29:31,580 --> 01:29:33,580
You're on the nitro surge watching this.

1253
01:29:33,580 --> 01:29:34,580
Have a good one.

1254
01:29:34,580 --> 01:29:35,580
Thanks very much.

1255
01:29:35,580 --> 01:29:36,580
That's very kind of you.

1256
01:29:36,580 --> 01:29:37,580
And it comes for...

1257
01:29:37,580 --> 01:29:39,580
Yeah, I can see Stu there.

1258
01:29:39,580 --> 01:29:41,580
These stupid sounds are playing.

1259
01:29:43,580 --> 01:29:47,580
Stu's really not really fucking reciprocating any sort of vibes here from Heidi.

1260
01:29:48,580 --> 01:29:52,580
And I feel sorry for Heidi as well because she looks a lot more professional.

1261
01:29:52,580 --> 01:29:55,580
I'm above and beyond this, you know?

1262
01:29:57,580 --> 01:30:03,580
I mean, that's a lady there who's been in the biz for quite some time or, you know, a few years at least.

1263
01:30:04,580 --> 01:30:08,580
I feel bad that this is what she's having to fucking sell to Stu.

1264
01:30:08,580 --> 01:30:10,580
And Stu ain't buying that.

1265
01:30:10,580 --> 01:30:12,580
He ain't buying that stuff.

1266
01:30:12,580 --> 01:30:16,580
Let's see if he gives a kind of cool, really cool stuff at the end.

1267
01:30:16,580 --> 01:30:18,580
He might redeem it.

1268
01:30:18,580 --> 01:30:21,580
It comes for either Windows or Macintosh.

1269
01:30:21,580 --> 01:30:23,580
So it's a hybrid CD you can play on either system.

1270
01:30:23,580 --> 01:30:24,580
Well, it's cool about this.

1271
01:30:24,580 --> 01:30:25,580
It also comes in different languages, doesn't it?

1272
01:30:25,580 --> 01:30:26,580
It does.

1273
01:30:26,580 --> 01:30:32,580
One of the fascinating things about this is it is fully localized into French, Spanish and German as well as English.

1274
01:30:32,580 --> 01:30:34,580
And that's all available on the same CD.

1275
01:30:34,580 --> 01:30:35,580
And Spanish?

1276
01:30:35,580 --> 01:30:36,580
Uh-huh.

1277
01:30:36,580 --> 01:30:37,580
Absolutely.

1278
01:30:37,580 --> 01:30:38,580
Okay, that's great.

1279
01:30:38,580 --> 01:30:39,580
What's that about?

1280
01:30:39,580 --> 01:30:40,580
And then when he puts his hand down to the screen.

1281
01:30:40,580 --> 01:30:41,580
Why did he say that?

1282
01:30:41,580 --> 01:30:42,580
Why did he say that?

1283
01:30:42,580 --> 01:30:43,580
She said Spanish, German.

1284
01:30:43,580 --> 01:30:44,580
And why did he make point of the Spanish then?

1285
01:30:44,580 --> 01:30:49,580
Is fully localized into French, Spanish and German as well as English.

1286
01:30:49,580 --> 01:30:54,580
French, Spanish and German as well as English.

1287
01:30:54,580 --> 01:30:58,580
And then Stu's like, and Spanish.

1288
01:30:58,580 --> 01:30:59,580
Right.

1289
01:30:59,580 --> 01:31:00,580
And that's all available on the same CD.

1290
01:31:00,580 --> 01:31:01,580
And Spanish?

1291
01:31:01,580 --> 01:31:02,580
Uh-huh.

1292
01:31:02,580 --> 01:31:03,580
Absolutely.

1293
01:31:03,580 --> 01:31:04,580
What's that about?

1294
01:31:04,580 --> 01:31:10,580
And then when he puts his hand down, he accidentally hits the box there as well.

1295
01:31:10,580 --> 01:31:11,580
See that again?

1296
01:31:11,580 --> 01:31:12,580
German as well as English.

1297
01:31:12,580 --> 01:31:13,580
And that's all available on the same CD.

1298
01:31:13,580 --> 01:31:14,580
And Spanish?

1299
01:31:14,580 --> 01:31:15,580
Uh-huh.

1300
01:31:15,580 --> 01:31:16,580
Absolutely.

1301
01:31:16,580 --> 01:31:17,580
Absolutely.

1302
01:31:17,580 --> 01:31:18,580
That's great.

1303
01:31:18,580 --> 01:31:19,580
Are you going to load up Professor Iris for us?

1304
01:31:19,580 --> 01:31:21,580
And I want to show a couple other things while we're waiting for that.

1305
01:31:21,580 --> 01:31:24,580
Professor Iris is being loaded up on the screen.

1306
01:31:24,580 --> 01:31:29,580
And because it's so slow, Stu's going to show us some extra bits while she's loading that piece up.

1307
01:31:29,580 --> 01:31:32,580
I would just show on a keyboard before for grown-ups who have carpal tunnel patterns.

1308
01:31:32,580 --> 01:31:37,580
And I'm going to show you some extra bits while she's loading that piece up.

1309
01:31:37,580 --> 01:31:41,580
I would just show on a keyboard before for grown-ups who have carpal tunnel patterns.

1310
01:31:41,580 --> 01:31:43,580
And all the rest of that stuff at work.

1311
01:31:43,580 --> 01:31:44,580
Jesus Christ.

1312
01:31:44,580 --> 01:31:45,580
This is a keyboard for kids.

1313
01:31:45,580 --> 01:31:48,580
If you're getting into kids software and you've got a really little kid.

1314
01:31:48,580 --> 01:31:53,580
If you're getting into kids software and you've got a little kid or you've got carpal tunnel,

1315
01:31:53,580 --> 01:31:55,580
this is your baby.

1316
01:31:55,580 --> 01:31:56,580
This is your behemoth.

1317
01:31:56,580 --> 01:31:58,580
This is what you're going to be rocking.

1318
01:31:58,580 --> 01:32:02,580
You can bring this into the office to work, to the desk.

1319
01:32:02,580 --> 01:32:06,580
It's your secret little power board.

1320
01:32:06,580 --> 01:32:09,580
It's great for the heart of seeing.

1321
01:32:09,580 --> 01:32:11,580
And probably the heart of hearing.

1322
01:32:11,580 --> 01:32:16,580
I can imagine those things having a real clunky sound to them.

1323
01:32:16,580 --> 01:32:22,580
None other than kid keys.

1324
01:32:22,580 --> 01:32:25,580
Tiny fingers can't deal with a regular keyboard.

1325
01:32:25,580 --> 01:32:26,580
This is just wonderful.

1326
01:32:26,580 --> 01:32:27,580
The kids keys keyboard.

1327
01:32:27,580 --> 01:32:29,580
You can see it's all color coded.

1328
01:32:29,580 --> 01:32:31,580
Big letters for those tiny fingers.

1329
01:32:31,580 --> 01:32:32,580
Gigantic enter key.

1330
01:32:32,580 --> 01:32:33,580
Nice.

1331
01:32:33,580 --> 01:32:36,580
Gigantic enter key.

1332
01:32:36,580 --> 01:32:37,580
Check that out man.

1333
01:32:37,580 --> 01:32:38,580
Fucking entropy.

1334
01:32:38,580 --> 01:32:40,580
You can see it's all color coded.

1335
01:32:40,580 --> 01:32:42,580
Big letters for those tiny fingers.

1336
01:32:42,580 --> 01:32:43,580
Gigantic enter key.

1337
01:32:43,580 --> 01:32:45,580
Nice easy cursor keys over here.

1338
01:32:45,580 --> 01:32:47,580
Plus it has all our adult keys over here.

1339
01:32:47,580 --> 01:32:48,580
Alt control.

1340
01:32:48,580 --> 01:32:54,580
Fucking adult buttons then for the fucking adult material that you be doing.

1341
01:32:54,580 --> 01:32:56,580
Control, delete, etc.

1342
01:32:56,580 --> 01:33:00,580
If we have to go in and fix up what the kids are doing on the computer.

1343
01:33:00,580 --> 01:33:02,580
Really nice for young kids, say five years and younger.

1344
01:33:02,580 --> 01:33:04,580
The kids keys keyboard.

1345
01:33:04,580 --> 01:33:07,580
Couple other quick things while Heidi is still loading.

1346
01:33:07,580 --> 01:33:08,580
Two.

1347
01:33:08,580 --> 01:33:09,580
Quick thees.

1348
01:33:09,580 --> 01:33:11,580
The kids keys keyboard.

1349
01:33:11,580 --> 01:33:14,580
Couple other quick things while Heidi is still loading.

1350
01:33:14,580 --> 01:33:15,580
Two of my favorite.

1351
01:33:15,580 --> 01:33:18,580
All the while badge is still in the background.

1352
01:33:18,580 --> 01:33:20,580
Couple other quick things while.

1353
01:33:20,580 --> 01:33:22,580
Look at the badge man.

1354
01:33:22,580 --> 01:33:23,580
He's still there.

1355
01:33:23,580 --> 01:33:25,580
What the ass?

1356
01:33:25,580 --> 01:33:26,580
The badge man.

1357
01:33:26,580 --> 01:33:40,580
The man who stood in the background even after he'd done his piece to camera.

1358
01:33:40,580 --> 01:33:42,580
Why was he still there?

1359
01:33:42,580 --> 01:33:43,580
What was he doing?

1360
01:33:43,580 --> 01:33:47,580
Find out tonight at 9 on 4.

1361
01:33:47,580 --> 01:33:50,580
Badge your old bust.

1362
01:33:50,580 --> 01:33:52,580
Tonight at 9 on dispatches.

1363
01:33:52,580 --> 01:33:57,580
While Heidi is still loading.

1364
01:33:57,580 --> 01:34:00,580
Two of my favorites are the holiday gift ideas.

1365
01:34:00,580 --> 01:34:01,580
Sports Jeopardy.

1366
01:34:01,580 --> 01:34:02,580
Really a lot of fun.

1367
01:34:02,580 --> 01:34:04,580
If you ever watch Jeopardy or Jeopardy on TV.

1368
01:34:04,580 --> 01:34:05,580
This is interactive Jeopardy.

1369
01:34:05,580 --> 01:34:10,580
I wasn't really a big TV fan of it, but when you play it, it's a lot of fun around the house.

1370
01:34:10,580 --> 01:34:13,580
Finally, one of the neatest games I've discovered, which is glider.

1371
01:34:13,580 --> 01:34:15,580
I don't know if you ever played this before.

1372
01:34:15,580 --> 01:34:16,580
Primarily on the Macintosh.

1373
01:34:16,580 --> 01:34:18,580
This is the newest version, Glider Pro.

1374
01:34:18,580 --> 01:34:21,580
You take a paper airplane and have to fly it to the top.

1375
01:34:21,580 --> 01:34:25,580
You take a paper airplane and have to fly it through a house using the air coming up from the vents in the house.

1376
01:34:25,580 --> 01:34:28,580
Any kid is absolutely going to be enwrapped by this game.

1377
01:34:28,580 --> 01:34:30,580
I promise you, I've been through it.

1378
01:34:30,580 --> 01:34:31,580
Never heard about it, Stu.

1379
01:34:31,580 --> 01:34:33,580
Never heard of that game.

1380
01:34:33,580 --> 01:34:37,580
Let's see if it even exists nowadays, Stu.

1381
01:34:37,580 --> 01:34:38,580
Glider Pro.

1382
01:34:38,580 --> 01:34:40,580
Let's have a look at that.

1383
01:34:40,580 --> 01:34:41,580
Glider Pro.

1384
01:34:41,580 --> 01:34:42,580
Game.

1385
01:34:42,580 --> 01:34:43,580
Here we go.

1386
01:34:43,580 --> 01:34:43,580
Here we go.

1387
01:34:43,580 --> 01:34:44,580
We're going to see it.

1388
01:34:44,580 --> 01:34:45,580
This is what Stu.

1389
01:34:45,580 --> 01:34:52,580
Let's just see here again what he says about it and then we'll see what he's saying about it.

1390
01:34:52,580 --> 01:34:58,580
Take a paper airplane and have to fly it through a house using the air coming up from the vents in the house.

1391
01:34:58,580 --> 01:35:01,580
Any kid is absolutely going to be enwrapped by this game.

1392
01:35:01,580 --> 01:35:03,580
I promise you, I've been through it.

1393
01:35:03,580 --> 01:35:06,580
Any kid, he's been through it.

1394
01:35:06,580 --> 01:35:10,580
Take a paper airplane, fly through the vents in the house.

1395
01:35:10,580 --> 01:35:12,580
Let's see what this game is like.

1396
01:35:12,580 --> 01:35:13,580
Could be good.

1397
01:35:13,580 --> 01:35:14,580
Could be amazing.

1398
01:35:14,580 --> 01:35:21,580
It could be hot and deep.

1399
01:35:21,580 --> 01:35:23,580
It's hot and fast and deep.

1400
01:35:27,580 --> 01:35:28,580
Wow.

1401
01:35:28,580 --> 01:35:31,580
We're getting the full read me screenshots.

1402
01:35:31,580 --> 01:35:33,580
Let's just get into the game.

1403
01:35:33,580 --> 01:35:34,580
Oh, wow.

1404
01:35:34,580 --> 01:35:35,580
Check this out.

1405
01:35:35,580 --> 01:35:37,580
It's fucking sensual.

1406
01:35:37,580 --> 01:35:38,580
Lovely bit of MIDI.

1407
01:35:38,580 --> 01:36:08,400
KICK ASS! KICK ASS soundtrack for Glider Pro! KICK ASS soundtrack what do you know?

1408
01:36:08,400 --> 01:36:19,400
It's Glider Pro! It's Glider Pro! I'll go back to that again man, I was fucking loving that shit!

1409
01:36:23,400 --> 01:36:37,400
Get ready for a... ready for a banger, banger's a match tonight! A banger, Glider Pro! A paper, a plane, Glider Pro!

1410
01:36:37,400 --> 01:37:01,400
Glider Pro! It's flying that big, Glider Pro! He's going up into the clouds tonight! The clouds tonight! Lovely aeroplane flying through air! It's going up in the sky, it don't care! Don't save, exit, quit the game, it's shit!

1411
01:37:01,400 --> 01:37:13,400
All right, what do you have Heidi? Great! What I'm going to show you now is the first in a series from the Professor Iris series, which is a very popular television show on the Learning Channel.

1412
01:37:13,400 --> 01:37:33,400
Uh-huh! And Professor Iris is again also for the early learning crowd, the kids who may not be able to read yet, may not be comfortable with a keyboard, and they certainly aren't allowed to use the phone to call for tech support. So it's really got to be something that can run easily. And what Professor Iris has is a number of different activities that teaches children about Africa.

1413
01:37:33,400 --> 01:37:40,400
Professor Iris is after you. And this time, he wants to tell you about Africa.

1414
01:37:40,400 --> 01:37:45,400
We're going to go into the series right now. We're starting up on television. You can tell it's from a television show.

1415
01:37:45,400 --> 01:37:53,400
So what's cool is the kids can actually watch the series on TV and when that's done, go over to their Mac or their PC and then sort of take control and continue to have the same experience.

1416
01:37:53,400 --> 01:38:00,400
And it's all the same characters that they're used to seeing on the TV show. It's got a number of different segments to it. I'm going to skip the introduction.

1417
01:38:00,400 --> 01:38:09,400
One of the things I think is important to look for in children's software is that there is an introduction that takes children through the program, shows them how to use it because of course they're not able to read.

1418
01:38:09,400 --> 01:38:18,400
They can't go to the manual to figure out how to use it. Right. As you see here on the front page, it's a reading page. Rubbish. And it can read to us or let's skip to the index.

1419
01:38:18,400 --> 01:38:27,400
Looks rubbish. I think this gives you a good overview of it. Looks terrible. There are ten different game pages, all sorts of things like tic-tac-toes and match-ups.

1420
01:38:27,400 --> 01:38:34,400
Tic-tac-toe. I wouldn't even play that. Why are you putting that into a game? You can play that in real life on a piece of paper. You know?

1421
01:38:34,400 --> 01:38:44,400
Rock videos for the kids set. So let's look at one of these. Just great stuff for kids now. It's a wonderful time to be three years old or four years old or whatever. Yeah, it sure is. It sure is. You just have to send mom to the store a lot.

1422
01:38:44,400 --> 01:38:59,400
Get ready for a music video. And that is what we're fucking up against, people. That is what we're up against. You thought that fucking life was gonna get easier. It's not.

1423
01:38:59,400 --> 01:39:26,400
Tonight's at nine on four. Sheep games for the PC. A piano with a face. Oddly terrifying toys. A scare at bedtime. The nightmare before Christmas.

1424
01:39:26,400 --> 01:39:53,400
The nightmare before Christmas. Little piano man. Tonight's on four. So that's Piano, one of the characters of the show. And now we pull down a video screen. And off we go. Oh, that's cool. Christ. Christ.

1425
01:39:53,400 --> 01:40:00,400
Okay, Professor Iris, Animal Safari. Alright, one problem with-

1426
01:40:00,400 --> 01:40:14,400
Ah ha! Stu doesn't have any time for it. Stu had no time for the game. Alright, great. Professor Safari. Alright, next. And off we go. Oh, that's cool.

1427
01:40:14,400 --> 01:40:24,280
I've noticed a trend on the computer chronicles when somebody shows a piece of software that has

1428
01:40:24,280 --> 01:40:29,880
zany sounds and stuff like that. Stu's fucking out of there. There's no time for them.

1429
01:40:30,660 --> 01:40:34,300
He heard he got one here that one listen to that fucking elephants.

1430
01:40:34,960 --> 01:40:39,840
What would you call an elephant's roar or what? And he was fucking gonzo.

1431
01:40:39,840 --> 01:40:43,440
And off we go.

1432
01:40:43,440 --> 01:40:45,640
Oh, that's cool.

1433
01:40:46,820 --> 01:40:48,080
Oh, that's cool.

1434
01:40:54,660 --> 01:40:56,680
Okay, Professor Iris, animals.

1435
01:40:57,260 --> 01:40:59,660
They were going to start singing a song and everything.

1436
01:41:00,280 --> 01:41:02,960
Didn't she wasn't. You could see the song was coming.

1437
01:41:03,100 --> 01:41:03,660
I was like, fuck that.

1438
01:41:03,660 --> 01:41:08,740
Sorry. All right. One problem with buying computer software is you're never sure you're really going to.

1439
01:41:08,740 --> 01:41:09,040
Sorry.

1440
01:41:11,600 --> 01:41:28,420
Okay, Professor Iris, animal safari. All right. One problem with buying computer software is you're never sure you're really going to like it or maybe if your kids are going to like it. And it's hard to return software once you've used it. One good alternative is a computer store which will rent software to you. We found one.

1441
01:41:28,920 --> 01:41:33,460
Computer Spectrum is a computer store just outside of San Francisco.

1442
01:41:33,460 --> 01:41:39,320
Thank you very much, Currywurst O'Hurley and Sergeant Derek Spain.

1443
01:41:39,320 --> 01:41:46,320
Check out that shirt. It's unbelievable.

1444
01:41:46,320 --> 01:42:13,480
Thank you very much there, BiPath, for the tip. Very, very kind of your BiPath.

1445
01:42:13,480 --> 01:42:18,940
...competitors nearby. Part of the company's successful formula is a CD-ROM rental business.

1446
01:42:18,940 --> 01:42:22,840
As a small star, we have to do something fairly unique to compete with the larger stores.

1447
01:42:22,840 --> 01:42:30,140
Gary Das is after you. It's fucking sensational as well. It's a lovely piece of pudding.

1448
01:42:30,140 --> 01:42:40,640
Tonight at nine on Dispatches, he was the man who made a computer spectrum shine

1449
01:42:40,640 --> 01:42:52,100
like a rainbow of technological wonderment. The name, Gary. The surname, DOS. Disk operating system system.

1450
01:42:52,100 --> 01:42:58,100
A wonderful piece of pudding. A beautiful face. A man. On a mission. To make technology sing. DOS boot. Tonight at nine.

1451
01:42:58,100 --> 01:43:12,100
beautiful face a man on a mission to make technology sing dos boot tonight at 9:00 on dispatches

1452
01:43:14,820 --> 01:43:18,660
we do have as a small store we have better customer service we're more one-on-one with

1453
01:43:18,660 --> 01:43:25,700
the client that only goes so far so to add to that we've established a new system of renting

1454
01:43:25,700 --> 01:43:31,540
cd-rom titles we we sell them and rent them and it's just like a video store you go in with a with

1455
01:43:31,540 --> 01:43:36,580
a card that you've already signed up and they rent for three dollars and 99 cents for three nights

1456
01:43:37,460 --> 01:43:42,900
it's been very popular with the distributors as well because it adds to the selling of the titles

1457
01:43:42,900 --> 01:43:47,540
it's kind of a try before you buy philosophy if you go in and you can try it for three nights

1458
01:43:48,580 --> 01:43:52,820
i'd say about a quarter of the time they'll come back and actually purchase the title while computer

1459
01:43:52,820 --> 01:43:58,100
spectrum has made cd-rom rentals into a routine part of their business the concept is still new to a lot

1460
01:43:58,100 --> 01:44:03,940
of smaller publishers of cd titles in some cases the retailer has to educate his suppliers in the

1461
01:44:03,940 --> 01:44:14,180
subtleties of copyright law in 1990 congress passed the software rental software rental act and you cannot

1462
01:44:14,180 --> 01:44:20,180
rent software legally except if you have the copyright holders permission and so that's what we have to do

1463
01:44:20,180 --> 01:44:26,020
our distributors have gone and got permission or we individually have gotten permission from each

1464
01:44:26,020 --> 01:44:32,740
individual manufacturer and to rent them proof that cd publishers are catching on to the idea can be seen

1465
01:44:32,740 --> 01:44:38,500
in the store's wall decorations almost all the discs have labels offering them for rent and software ads

1466
01:44:38,500 --> 01:44:46,660
are beginning to look more and more your old lady see the picture of your old lady in the computer shop the last day man

1467
01:44:47,940 --> 01:44:52,660
partly she's in a game called lands of lore the throne of chaos

1468
01:44:57,860 --> 01:45:07,380
tonight at nine on dispatches your mother in a video game called lands of lore the throne of chaos

1469
01:45:12,260 --> 01:45:18,100
what must you think when you watch the documentary about the fact that your mother was in a game called

1470
01:45:18,100 --> 01:45:20,740
lands of lore there she is

1471
01:45:28,100 --> 01:45:35,700
the only message that isn't your mother just to clarify that's not your mother didn't want to

1472
01:45:35,700 --> 01:45:40,500
fucking piss anyone off there in case you got pissed off that i said that that was your mother sorry about

1473
01:45:40,500 --> 01:45:47,540
that movie posters for the computer chronicle this guy can't he can't fucking decide what he wants here

1474
01:45:47,540 --> 01:46:07,460
ads are beginning to look now renting now renting more and more like movie posters for the computer chronicles i'm giles bateman

1475
01:46:12,420 --> 01:46:16,340
all right we're back with paul schindler of windows magazine and lots of neat things you're going to show

1476
01:46:16,340 --> 01:46:20,020
us and what are you going to start with paul well i'm going to start with a fucking beautiful man

1477
01:46:25,940 --> 01:46:31,220
with espresso that comes from berkeley systems are the same people who start with paul well i'm going to start with

1478
01:46:31,220 --> 01:46:37,540
expresso that comes from berkeley systems are the same people who do the after dark screensavers now oh god

1479
01:46:38,260 --> 01:46:45,140
how many more after dark screensaver clones are we going to see man thanks very much for the tip there you're

1480
01:46:45,140 --> 01:46:51,540
filthy very very kind of you this is a clever calendar idea it makes a calendar out of your wallpaper so you

1481
01:46:51,540 --> 01:46:57,060
can get a weekly view and a monthly view there's all kinds it's it's one of the cleverest calendar ideas

1482
01:46:57,060 --> 01:47:04,660
there's so many calendars this is a clever idea okay smart idea i'm interested in my family tree genealogy so i

1483
01:47:04,660 --> 01:47:10,580
use family tree maker from banner blue i've got my whole family in it it's very easy to enter information and

1484
01:47:10,580 --> 01:47:16,900
trivial to get it out you can get an ancestor tree if i wanted to know hobbs relation to my daughters

1485
01:47:16,900 --> 01:47:21,940
all i have to do is punch relationship and it tells me what it is it also can exchange information with

1486
01:47:21,940 --> 01:47:27,700
jedcom which is the format established by the moment mormon church and used by most genealogical organizations

1487
01:47:27,700 --> 01:47:33,140
terrific package finally there's gift maker i guess i wouldn't be showing if it wasn't terrific would i

1488
01:47:33,140 --> 01:47:38,660
gift maker comes from maxis in orinda california and it's another neat idea now what they've done is

1489
01:47:38,660 --> 01:47:46,020
neat idea here it's gift maker the easiest way to create your own personalized gifts and merchandise

1490
01:47:46,740 --> 01:47:53,460
you've got a lovely little bear there is a lovely little bear and he's wearing a shirt that says

1491
01:47:53,460 --> 01:47:59,860
gifts on the front see you made a lovely little mug there with a picture of your child on it man

1492
01:48:01,140 --> 01:48:08,100
seen you made a fucking toy clock there picture of a race car on it that said go fast who are you giving

1493
01:48:08,100 --> 01:48:14,260
that to men they've given you a drawing program with all sorts of special effects and you can

1494
01:48:14,260 --> 01:48:23,380
customize a mug a clock a chair then you take the floppy disk results you mail them to the vendor with

1495
01:48:23,380 --> 01:48:30,980
some money or a credit card and you get back a personalized floppy disk uh a canvas chair a baseball hat

1496
01:48:30,980 --> 01:48:36,820
so it's a it's a it's a gift personalizer where you can do what's on the pc now this is monty python's

1497
01:48:37,540 --> 01:48:42,260
a waste of time and terry gilliam's animation was always one of my favorite parts of monty python

1498
01:48:42,900 --> 01:48:48,660
notice now that the cursor uh is being followed by the eyes of the policeman and when i click on the

1499
01:48:48,660 --> 01:48:56,340
policeman's eye uh it falls out i mean this is this is just this is python at its best uh it's a it's a

1500
01:48:56,340 --> 01:49:01,860
tremendous program and finally i want to show uh at after dark screensaver the simpsons is my

1501
01:49:01,860 --> 01:49:14,340
my python at its best this program and finally i want to show uh at after dark screensaver the simpsons

1502
01:49:14,340 --> 01:49:19,620
is my favorite television program we're going to look at an itchy and scratchy screensaver first there's

1503
01:49:19,620 --> 01:49:26,100
lots of different screensavers so you see the cat and the mouse appear from behind uh actual program

1504
01:49:26,100 --> 01:49:32,260
groups from your program manager uh it's it's just another example uh you know companies that come up

1505
01:49:32,260 --> 01:49:38,260
with one good idea seem to keep coming up with other good ideas but the last part of this demo i'm going to

1506
01:49:38,260 --> 01:49:44,260
show you the homer eats screensaver now what that features is homer simpson coming in on the lower right

1507
01:49:44,260 --> 01:49:49,700
here and he actually eats the screen whatever was on your screen the last time marge has just dropped off a

1508
01:49:49,700 --> 01:49:54,500
set of pork rinds on the screen when homer gets to those he'll eat them if she drops off tofu or

1509
01:49:54,500 --> 01:50:01,380
vegetables or something he'll he'll spit that back out so that's the simpsons uh screensaver from uh after

1510
01:50:01,380 --> 01:50:07,860
berkeley systems the the after dark people and uh let's see i think you have speaking of television well

1511
01:50:07,860 --> 01:50:12,660
if you like the simpsons and you like monty python that means i guess you might want to watch tv i've got

1512
01:50:12,660 --> 01:50:18,740
something here in which you double click in windows and you can watch tv this is a real window running

1513
01:50:18,740 --> 01:50:23,860
inside windows i can make it larger do anything i want with it i can change channels right on the

1514
01:50:23,860 --> 01:50:30,900
screen i have all my controls here uh watch a movie a football game or whatever else we can find on here

1515
01:50:30,900 --> 01:50:36,500
what's neat on here actually i can grab a still if i like it and save it and actually store it as a file

1516
01:50:36,500 --> 01:50:41,460
on my hard drive uh go back here all the controls are here in software i can actually go to full screen

1517
01:50:41,460 --> 01:50:46,180
if i want and watch like a real tv i can even get rid of everything in here and you can see i've got all my

1518
01:50:46,180 --> 01:50:54,420
video controls etc etc a great program and i want to shut it down here so we don't hear all this noise

1519
01:50:54,420 --> 01:50:58,420
while i show you the rest of what i want to show you which is a couple other things for kids two neat

1520
01:50:58,420 --> 01:51:04,740
things uh putt putt goes to the moon where's putt putt there he is this is guaranteed great game for kids

1521
01:51:04,740 --> 01:51:10,340
incredible animation an interactive tv cartoon absolutely haven't seen a kid yet that doesn't love

1522
01:51:10,340 --> 01:51:15,860
it real quick also for kids what would you do at home this is really important teaches kids what to

1523
01:51:15,860 --> 01:51:20,500
do in an emergency at home when the parents aren't there uh there's a fire there's a there's an offensive

1524
01:51:20,500 --> 01:51:25,380
phone call there's a knock at the door uh you forgot your key and you're locked out when you come home

1525
01:51:25,380 --> 01:51:29,780
from school a wonderful program for kids what would you do at home you have one more thing to show us paul

1526
01:51:29,780 --> 01:51:34,500
very quickly now this looks to the naked eye just like a three and a half inch floppy drive it's the

1527
01:51:34,500 --> 01:51:40,100
white right height and the right width but it turns out it's it is a three and a half inch floppy drive

1528
01:51:40,100 --> 01:51:47,700
but it's a very tiny one the tiniest one on the market combined with two pcm cia card slots so the

1529
01:51:47,700 --> 01:51:52,180
same card that provides you extra memory and disk space on your portable can be used in your desktop

1530
01:51:52,180 --> 01:51:59,140
this is to be inserted into the three and a half inch disc drive bay of your desktop unit 280 and steward

1531
01:51:59,140 --> 01:52:03,700
it's so simple that i can do it oh my god it's really simple oh all right paul lots of neat stuff

1532
01:52:03,700 --> 01:52:07,540
thank you very much and we're going to go back to tim behar and you got a couple more goodies to show us

1533
01:52:07,540 --> 01:52:12,180
to right a couple things first of all if you bought a multimedia pc for the home with a cd-rom drive

1534
01:52:12,180 --> 01:52:17,380
under windows you really need to look at the cd essentials from phoenix technologies and their subsidiary

1535
01:52:17,380 --> 01:52:23,700
eclipse this is a great little product that manages thank you very much spice man girl and hard drive life

1536
01:52:23,700 --> 01:52:28,820
and you don't know my mother thank you very much is how you play access and deal with

1537
01:52:28,820 --> 01:52:33,700
cd-roms no more of this uh having to type in setup and all of this it takes care of that for you

1538
01:52:33,700 --> 01:52:39,940
really good the other product is the greatest air paper airplanes you know this is a fun product to play with

1539
01:52:41,140 --> 01:52:46,180
more paper airplanes after the last shenanigans that we saw

1540
01:52:49,380 --> 01:52:54,580
clutching of paper straws man and more importantly it's hard to understand how you make the folds without

1541
01:52:54,580 --> 01:52:58,500
some kind of animation etc this shows you how to do the folds

1542
01:52:58,500 --> 01:53:02,500
runs through a little movie and it even shows you how it flies so it's a good little product just on

1543
01:53:02,500 --> 01:53:06,660
the market the greatest paper airplane great for kids or grown-up guys that's right i played with it

1544
01:53:10,580 --> 01:53:13,620
great for kids or grown-up guys

1545
01:53:15,780 --> 01:53:21,380
i've played with it the other product is something from microsoft called magic school bus now this is a

1546
01:53:21,380 --> 01:53:27,460
part of the pbs special that is done on saturday mornings for kids and it takes the concept of a magic school

1547
01:53:27,460 --> 01:53:32,500
bus and kids jump on the magic school bus and go and explore this particular one explores the human

1548
01:53:32,500 --> 01:53:37,540
body all right we're going to take we're going to take us to start with into the human uh stomach great

1549
01:53:37,540 --> 01:53:42,820
we're going to look in great inside and the idea is to be able to go inside the stomach as you're as if

1550
01:53:42,820 --> 01:53:48,100
you're on the magic bus and explore so what we're going to do is we're going to do normal things like

1551
01:53:48,740 --> 01:53:52,580
we're going to put the acid into the stomach and see what the digestive juices are like

1552
01:53:52,580 --> 01:53:58,900
then we're going to go grab in this case um a hamburger and put it down and we'll see it

1553
01:53:59,460 --> 01:54:04,820
basically being dissolved in the juices and then little kids must just love the grossness the grosser the

1554
01:54:04,820 --> 01:54:12,500
better they tell me and then we can see the entire digestion process um the next this first one is on the human body

1555
01:54:12,500 --> 01:54:18,020
the next one will be on space exploration and then the third one is on exploring the earth but a good

1556
01:54:18,020 --> 01:54:21,700
new teaching tool called magic bus that's really great a couple more things i want to show before we

1557
01:54:21,700 --> 01:54:25,700
get out of here if you've got kids or friends that are really into art this is a wonderful

1558
01:54:26,500 --> 01:54:30,900
kids or friends that are into our bundle that's out there you may know about dabbler which is the how

1559
01:54:30,900 --> 01:54:39,620
to draw program uh right it's a draw see the clunky uh awkward full bundle that's out there you may know

1560
01:54:39,620 --> 01:54:45,300
about dabbler with wires and all that kind of all over the place how to draw program uh right it's a

1561
01:54:45,300 --> 01:54:49,940
drawing program and it teaches you how to draw again with animations it's fantastic it's coming bundled now

1562
01:54:49,940 --> 01:54:55,780
with this new mini wacom drawing tablet and pen so the kid can really draw for real it's not playing around

1563
01:54:55,780 --> 01:55:02,980
with a mouse and pretending you the kid the kid can really draw for real drawing tablet and pen so

1564
01:55:02,980 --> 01:55:06,820
the kid can really draw for real it's not playing around with a mouse and pretending you have a brush

1565
01:55:06,820 --> 01:55:12,740
you really do have a brush in your hand it's a wonderful package dabbler and the wacom tablet yes it really is

1566
01:55:13,300 --> 01:55:21,140
all right this looks very boring i know but this is really a neat thing to have these are these two cds have all the

1567
01:55:21,140 --> 01:55:25,060
residential phone books in the united states on 80 000 phone books here amazing and if you're

1568
01:55:25,060 --> 01:55:29,700
amazing and if you want to go find some old college buddy find a friend find a lost relative or

1569
01:55:29,700 --> 01:55:34,740
something it's fantastic you can look at any single phone book search the entire country's database of

1570
01:55:34,740 --> 01:55:39,060
phone books with a great engine in here it's really terrific if you're looking for a business you can't

1571
01:55:39,060 --> 01:55:43,780
find and i might mention we found one of the businesses we're looking for in this show on this disc

1572
01:55:43,780 --> 01:55:48,660
all the business listings throughout the entire united states on one cd-rom may not be fun but it's a

1573
01:55:48,660 --> 01:55:54,340
terrific thing to have around it comes from digital directory assistance inc simpler time for stalkers

1574
01:55:54,340 --> 01:56:01,220
stalkers one or two more quick little things i want to show you this guy over

1575
01:56:01,940 --> 01:56:08,820
uh spanners is it i see yeah that we've got a person called big chocolate arse jesus christ

1576
01:56:11,460 --> 01:56:18,820
i can't believe that the chat has been brought into disrepute by someone called big chocolate arse francis

1577
01:56:21,460 --> 01:56:29,940
hi do you hopefully that will work i'm not sure if it will i think we have i think i've managed to sort that out

1578
01:56:30,980 --> 01:56:36,740
hopefully that didn't shock anybody there out there in the chat box over here you know in the past

1579
01:56:36,740 --> 01:56:41,700
there's foreign language translation software for the pc or these little cards you could buy that would

1580
01:56:41,700 --> 01:56:46,500
translate words they were really dictionaries electronic dictionaries this is an actual complete

1581
01:56:46,500 --> 01:56:51,460
translation system like the software only in a handheld device we don't have time to actually go through it

1582
01:56:51,460 --> 01:56:55,940
all but i can actually write a sentence in here any sentence i want it will translate this one from

1583
01:56:55,940 --> 01:57:01,140
english to spanish or spanish to english it even comes with a speaker and earphones and a computer voice

1584
01:57:01,140 --> 01:57:05,860
so i can put this put this in the ears of the waiter and say look here's what i want for dinner or whatever

1585
01:57:05,860 --> 01:57:12,260
it happens to be last but not least now tim some people who've been watching this show for a while may

1586
01:57:12,260 --> 01:57:17,940
remember a couple years ago we showed off these computer suspenders all right we had so many calls

1587
01:57:17,940 --> 01:57:21,780
from people who wanted to buy these suspenders and we didn't know where they came from i got them off a

1588
01:57:21,780 --> 01:57:31,380
street vendor in boston the details yeah what did he wear these in an episode before or did someone else

1589
01:57:31,380 --> 01:57:39,620
wear them doesn't seem like a kind of stew fashion piece it's more of a a shindler they're now sold at the

1590
01:57:39,620 --> 01:57:44,740
computer museum gift shop in boston so if you want these great computer suspenders they're really cool

1591
01:57:44,740 --> 01:57:51,060
they come with pictures of floppy disks and pcs on them at the computer museum gift shop in boston i'm

1592
01:57:51,060 --> 01:57:55,300
sure you can call them or write them the computer suspenders thanks so much for all the neat stuff you

1593
01:57:55,300 --> 01:58:00,340
showed us that's all the time we have for our annual consumers buying guide show hope we found something

1594
01:58:00,340 --> 01:58:05,540
that you thought was cool and if it all went by too quickly for you drop us a note on our compu serve

1595
01:58:05,540 --> 01:58:09,540
forum we'll try to answer any questions you have on the stuff we talked about today

1596
01:58:09,540 --> 01:58:15,380
the command is go chronicles thanks for joining us see you here next time on the computer chronicles

1597
01:58:15,380 --> 01:58:24,500
thanks stew computer chronicles is made possible hppcs we're looking at we're looking at technology in a

1598
01:58:24,500 --> 01:58:30,900
brand new light anywhere in the world hppcs you're taking a close look at remote management

1599
01:58:32,820 --> 01:58:38,660
additional funding is provided by laser

1600
01:58:38,660 --> 01:58:43,060
jazz guitar guitar fucking jazz guitar fucking see you here next time on the computer chronicles

1601
01:58:45,780 --> 01:58:58,580
computer chronicles is made possible in part by hewlett-packard developing technology that lets you manage your pc from anywhere on the network anywhere in the world hppcs you're taking a close look at remote management

1602
01:58:58,580 --> 01:59:04,420
additional funding is provided by laser jet printers from dood packard everything

1603
01:59:04,420 --> 01:59:10,260
thank you very much thank you very much dude penders and ryan mcdyer uh i thank you very much you say

1604
01:59:10,260 --> 01:59:22,260
suck it home with the covet covet 19 silly season has cancelled but the streams are going great to help us get through thank you yourself tom and conzo for all the streams and no look on it look we'll see you later i have to

1605
01:59:22,260 --> 01:59:24,340
fuck off because I'm getting

1606
01:59:24,340 --> 01:59:26,520
wrecked. Getting fucking

1607
01:59:26,520 --> 01:59:28,480
wrecked even though I might not look it.

1608
01:59:28,820 --> 01:59:29,380
I feel

1609
01:59:29,380 --> 01:59:32,440
drained from a

1610
01:59:32,440 --> 01:59:34,460
long day. Up since

1611
01:59:34,460 --> 01:59:36,300
six. That's of no

1612
01:59:36,300 --> 01:59:38,260
importance to you. You don't

1613
01:59:38,260 --> 01:59:40,360
care about that. You're

1614
01:59:40,360 --> 01:59:42,340
saying stop talking shite

1615
01:59:42,340 --> 01:59:44,440
and just fucking watch another episode

1616
01:59:44,440 --> 01:59:45,840
you big softy.

1617
01:59:50,380 --> 01:59:52,900
So I will watch another episode.

1618
02:00:00,540 --> 02:00:06,720
I was watching the Watergate affair

1619
02:00:06,720 --> 02:00:08,340
earlier on as well. It's a good documentary.

1620
02:00:08,780 --> 02:00:10,360
Bad. Bad.

1621
02:00:11,280 --> 02:00:12,620
Resolution. Thanks very much

1622
02:00:12,620 --> 02:00:13,780
Steph and Barty.

1623
02:00:14,740 --> 02:00:16,700
But this guy he's like a

1624
02:00:16,700 --> 02:00:17,980
private dick

1625
02:00:17,980 --> 02:00:19,380
that they got in.

1626
02:00:19,380 --> 02:00:22,480
And he's got a great voice. Great accent.

1627
02:00:23,560 --> 02:00:25,060
See if we can get a hold of him here.

1628
02:00:26,760 --> 02:00:27,500
This guy.

1629
02:00:27,540 --> 02:00:29,060
An assignment

1630
02:00:29,060 --> 02:00:32,540
with the President of the United States.

1631
02:00:33,100 --> 02:00:33,740
So for

1632
02:00:33,740 --> 02:00:35,220
political things.

1633
02:00:35,540 --> 02:00:37,520
President of the United States.

1634
02:00:37,860 --> 02:00:39,620
Things for personal things.

1635
02:00:40,080 --> 02:00:41,660
Things that were non-governmental.

1636
02:00:41,820 --> 02:00:44,020
We used Lasowitz and we paid it.

1637
02:00:44,420 --> 02:00:44,600
Mr.

1638
02:00:45,540 --> 02:00:46,180
Lasowitz.

1639
02:00:46,180 --> 02:00:47,360
Slickman said that

1640
02:00:47,360 --> 02:00:49,480
should it be disclosed

1641
02:00:49,480 --> 02:00:50,440
or should it come out

1642
02:00:50,440 --> 02:00:51,920
leak out or whatever

1643
02:00:51,920 --> 02:00:52,900
that I was on

1644
02:00:52,900 --> 02:00:54,700
working for the White House

1645
02:00:54,700 --> 02:00:55,580
it would be denied.

1646
02:00:57,760 --> 02:00:58,200
Anyway.

1647
02:00:59,200 --> 02:01:00,240
More glider pro.

1648
02:01:00,380 --> 02:01:00,840
I'm not sure.

1649
02:01:00,920 --> 02:01:02,400
There's another computer chronicles.

1650
02:01:02,520 --> 02:01:04,400
The digital living room part two.

1651
02:01:04,520 --> 02:01:06,360
We seen part one there last month.

1652
02:01:06,360 --> 02:01:10,040
This is the second part in that chronology.

1653
02:01:10,540 --> 02:01:12,180
From the year 2000.

1654
02:01:12,500 --> 02:01:13,100
It features

1655
02:01:13,100 --> 02:01:15,440
a version of Stuart Chapey

1656
02:01:15,440 --> 02:01:16,180
known as

1657
02:01:16,180 --> 02:01:17,420
Malibu Stu.

1658
02:01:17,680 --> 02:01:19,660
He's very very Malibuistic.

1659
02:01:19,920 --> 02:01:20,320
He's in

1660
02:01:20,320 --> 02:01:23,100
a Californian dreamscape.

1661
02:01:23,320 --> 02:01:24,360
Let's have a look at that.

1662
02:01:28,360 --> 02:01:33,000
Hi and welcome to this special edition of the computer chronicles.

1663
02:01:35,160 --> 02:01:36,960
Don't stop till you feel the burn.

1664
02:01:37,080 --> 02:01:38,780
And when you feel the burn, keep starting.

1665
02:01:39,080 --> 02:01:40,480
Thank you very much Vermanah

1666
02:01:40,480 --> 02:01:42,040
and Chris McBee

1667
02:01:42,040 --> 02:01:43,220
and Conway Twitty.

1668
02:01:43,380 --> 02:01:45,200
Thank you very much there Conway Twitty

1669
02:01:45,200 --> 02:01:45,500
from

1670
02:01:45,500 --> 02:01:47,900
Corko Caffrey and Spearing.

1671
02:01:49,320 --> 02:01:50,460
Hello darling.

1672
02:01:51,140 --> 02:01:52,080
Nice to see you.

1673
02:01:52,700 --> 02:01:55,260
It's been a long time.

1674
02:01:55,400 --> 02:01:56,980
It's still a lovely year.

1675
02:01:56,980 --> 02:01:59,400
We're on location here in Dana Point, California

1676
02:01:59,400 --> 02:02:00,600
just south of Los Angeles

1677
02:02:00,600 --> 02:02:02,420
for the second part of our coverage

1678
02:02:02,420 --> 02:02:04,400
of the digital living room conference.

1679
02:02:04,740 --> 02:02:06,560
We're taking a look at how the digital revolution

1680
02:02:06,560 --> 02:02:08,120
is changing everything we do

1681
02:02:08,120 --> 02:02:11,140
in the home, on the road, even in the air.

1682
02:02:11,440 --> 02:02:13,980
One of the most awesome demonstrations here at the conference

1683
02:02:13,980 --> 02:02:16,260
was something called Connection by Boeing.

1684
02:02:16,920 --> 02:02:20,080
Broadband internet access for airline passengers.

1685
02:02:20,900 --> 02:02:22,480
It used to be that if you were stocking

1686
02:02:22,480 --> 02:02:23,540
Check it out man.

1687
02:02:36,320 --> 02:02:38,060
On the plane.

1688
02:02:39,140 --> 02:02:43,060
He's going surfing internet on the plane.

1689
02:02:46,600 --> 02:02:50,500
He's going to surf the interweb on the plane.

1690
02:02:51,180 --> 02:02:52,980
On an airplane for several hours,

1691
02:02:53,080 --> 02:02:54,120
you were out of touch.

1692
02:02:54,480 --> 02:02:55,900
News with email.

1693
02:02:56,080 --> 02:02:57,720
It's a real airplane everybody.

1694
02:02:57,900 --> 02:02:58,580
Don't doubt it.

1695
02:02:59,180 --> 02:03:00,620
Don't doubt it for a second.

1696
02:03:01,360 --> 02:03:03,060
Sure, look at the windows.

1697
02:03:03,280 --> 02:03:04,640
Look at the clouds outside the windows.

1698
02:03:07,320 --> 02:03:09,640
Thank you very much Jackie and Bermana.

1699
02:03:10,600 --> 02:03:12,100
Unable to access the internet,

1700
02:03:12,640 --> 02:03:14,320
but that is all about to change.

1701
02:03:14,320 --> 02:03:19,080
Connection by Boeing is essentially a two-way broadband service

1702
02:03:19,080 --> 02:03:22,480
to the fleet of world commercial aircraft

1703
02:03:22,480 --> 02:03:23,380
where we are providing...

1704
02:03:25,380 --> 02:03:27,400
Who's she?

1705
02:03:30,220 --> 02:03:33,620
...connectivity for passengers.

1706
02:03:34,100 --> 02:03:36,380
The connectivity will present it...

1707
02:03:36,380 --> 02:03:40,080
...providing connectivity for passengers.

1708
02:03:40,080 --> 02:03:45,540
The connectivity will present itself in the form of internet, live TV, and a unique feature we think that is very occasional.

1709
02:03:45,540 --> 02:03:51,000
It caters very well to business travelers and that's the ability to access their corporation's internet account.

1710
02:03:51,000 --> 02:03:56,460
While they're traveling at 39,000 feet.

1711
02:03:56,460 --> 02:03:56,960
Wow.

1712
02:03:56,960 --> 02:03:58,460
Boeing's new in-flight internet service is now available.

1713
02:03:58,460 --> 02:04:03,000
The ability to access their corporation's internet account while they're traveling at 39,000 feet.

1714
02:04:03,000 --> 02:04:11,580
Internet, live TV, and a unique feature we think that caters very well to business travelers,

1715
02:04:11,780 --> 02:04:18,320
and that's the ability to access their corporation's internet account while they're traveling at 39,000 feet.

1716
02:04:18,720 --> 02:04:22,420
Boeing's new in-flight internet service is due to launch late next year.

1717
02:04:22,420 --> 02:04:26,160
It will cost somewhere between $10 and $25 an hour.

1718
02:04:26,720 --> 02:04:27,420
Well, as a business user...

1719
02:04:28,000 --> 02:04:32,460
The badge is back in town. The badge is back in town.

1720
02:04:32,460 --> 02:04:40,100
The badge is back in town. The badge is back in town.

1721
02:04:40,100 --> 02:04:45,940
...who are sending their people back and forth across country on a continual basis would just assume that they may have productivity.

1722
02:04:45,940 --> 02:04:46,740
Diddy-ddy-ddy.

1723
02:04:46,740 --> 02:04:49,660
At $25 an hour, the corporate labor is probably not expensive at all.

1724
02:04:49,840 --> 02:04:53,100
As a consumer, I'm going to be much more prudent in what I do.

1725
02:04:53,360 --> 02:04:57,800
I may log on, get my email, spend two or three minutes on, get some information, and then log off.

1726
02:04:58,280 --> 02:05:07,920
Logging on to the net while you're in an airplane is probably the ultimate wireless connection, but the idea of staying connected without wires was everywhere here.

1727
02:05:07,920 --> 02:05:19,560
One of the most outspoken proponents of wireless connectivity is Philippe Kahn, CEO of Starfish. Kahn says people have learned that web access is a way to escape, even from work.

1728
02:05:19,560 --> 02:05:35,920
People would drive in at 8 a.m., you know, sit in their cube and wait, you know, and do their spreadsheet, their word processor, because, you know, that's what they're meant to do. And suddenly, something interesting happens. On their machine appears something called a browser.

1729
02:05:35,920 --> 02:05:43,560
A browser. Browser is an interesting thing because a browser and TCP/IP gives you an escape vehicle from Dilbert's cubicle.

1730
02:05:43,560 --> 02:06:09,720
escape vehicle from Dilbert's cubicle. I would do anything for computers. I'd even put on a show and bang, bang, bang, bang. I would do anything for digital living room, but I won't do that. No way.

1731
02:06:10,140 --> 02:06:39,220
From Dilbert's cubicle. So now you're sitting down and, wow, I can get out of here. The main vehicle for wireless web access is the new generation of web-enabled cell phones and PDAs like the Palm 7. And there are some amazing new applications on the way. There's another company that works with Palm 7 or a Palm 5 with an OmniSky, any sort of wireless Palm, where you're listening to the radio. And, wow, that's a great song. I love that song.

1732
02:06:39,720 --> 02:06:48,380
What is it? You know, we all have those moments where we don't know what the song is. Maybe it's one we've heard before and knew and we've forgotten it. Or maybe it's a new song. We don't know who the artist is. We don't know what the song is.

1733
02:06:49,020 --> 02:07:08,420
This service enables you to say, I am in San Francisco. And then once you tell it's San Francisco, it gives you all the possible radio stations and it's KQED. And once you've done that, you say, you know, at 3.30, what song is playing? And that song pops up. Okay, but here's the interesting part. It says, click here to buy that CD.

1734
02:07:08,960 --> 02:07:09,800
Nice. Nice.

1735
02:07:09,800 --> 02:07:14,520
This represents a whole new category of business called M-Commerce. M for mobile.

1736
02:07:14,820 --> 02:07:20,520
What's going to be powerful about M-Commerce on wirelessly enabled devices is notification.

1737
02:07:21,180 --> 02:07:30,180
So I can imagine going to a website and looking at pictures of something. Look at a digital camera. Want to buy a new digital camera.

1738
02:07:30,540 --> 02:07:30,820
Right.

1739
02:07:31,660 --> 02:07:36,140
Basically saying, I don't want to pay $1,000 for that camera. I want to pay $800 for that camera.

1740
02:07:36,320 --> 02:07:36,500
Yeah.

1741
02:07:36,540 --> 02:07:38,820
And that camera costs $800. Let me know.

1742
02:07:39,360 --> 02:07:40,400
Let me know.

1743
02:07:40,420 --> 02:07:50,420
And the software will go out and monitor the prices. And when there's a price that's acceptable, then your phone rings. It says, that camera is now, push here to buy it.

1744
02:07:50,900 --> 02:07:51,520
One technology that...

1745
02:07:51,520 --> 02:07:54,960
And now we're in that... We are in that era.

1746
02:07:56,480 --> 02:08:02,860
It's fucking mighty. It's fucking great, man. Notifications whenever the stuff that I want.

1747
02:08:03,780 --> 02:08:06,920
Even when I don't want those notifications, they're coming up.

1748
02:08:08,000 --> 02:08:11,300
It's fucking brilliant, man. What a time to be alive.

1749
02:08:13,300 --> 02:08:17,080
Just a big round of applause for the fucking time that's in it.

1750
02:08:17,080 --> 02:08:24,340
2023, here we come.

1751
02:08:24,800 --> 02:08:28,000
It may drive the new world of intelligent wireless devices.

1752
02:08:28,560 --> 02:08:32,020
It's a great... It's a powerful fucking lineup on the panel, look.

1753
02:08:34,680 --> 02:08:36,120
Heavy, heavy buzz.

1754
02:08:37,320 --> 02:08:39,580
You've got fucking Doyle McManus.

1755
02:08:40,740 --> 02:08:41,940
Meatloaf Mark II.

1756
02:08:43,120 --> 02:08:44,660
Don't know who that book is.

1757
02:08:46,660 --> 02:08:50,560
And fucking Casey Keller from Lesser City.

1758
02:08:51,460 --> 02:08:52,900
Here's something called Bluetooth.

1759
02:08:53,480 --> 02:09:01,980
Bluetooth is technology that allows multiple devices to work and communicate together and share information and know about each other and each other's capabilities.

1760
02:09:02,540 --> 02:09:07,920
And it's pretty smart technology that will allow, you know, this cell phone, this pager, this digital camera to work together.

1761
02:09:08,140 --> 02:09:13,640
And work together wirelessly in multiple environments, in the office, at home, etc.

1762
02:09:13,900 --> 02:09:22,100
Also, it'll allow you, for example, if you have a digital camera with Bluetooth on it, and if you have a set-top box in your digital living room with a Bluetooth chip,

1763
02:09:22,180 --> 02:09:29,300
when you come back with your digital camera, all your digital pictures will be downloaded and you'll be able to watch them on your TV or whatever it is.

1764
02:09:29,300 --> 02:09:35,240
In fact, Bluetooth may be the answer to finally getting rid of wired headsets or cell phones.

1765
02:09:35,240 --> 02:09:44,720
We've heard from all of our customers in our telephone business and in the computing business that they would like us to cut the wires on our headsets.

1766
02:09:44,820 --> 02:09:45,800
They would like to have freedom.

1767
02:09:46,460 --> 02:09:48,320
So Bluetooth is very important for us.

1768
02:09:48,400 --> 02:09:51,420
So we have a dedicated team on Bluetooth development.

1769
02:09:51,640 --> 02:09:56,540
We've served as a member of the Bluetooth consortium for a long, long time.

1770
02:09:56,960 --> 02:09:58,500
So it's very important for us.

1771
02:09:58,880 --> 02:10:03,040
We think that Bluetooth will emerge as an application first in the mobile business.

1772
02:10:03,500 --> 02:10:04,440
We know that the cellular phone...

1773
02:10:04,440 --> 02:10:05,280
Mobile Bluetooth?

1774
02:10:05,280 --> 02:10:07,460
...interested in delivering Bluetooth cell phones.

1775
02:10:07,460 --> 02:10:07,600
Who put that?

1776
02:10:08,020 --> 02:10:12,740
And we want to be there with an outstanding Plantronics Bluetooth headset.

1777
02:10:13,000 --> 02:10:17,960
Then what you could have is you really could put a personal organizer and a cell phone together.

1778
02:10:18,380 --> 02:10:25,060
Because the big problem is try and give someone a phone number from your organizer when the organizer is built into your cell phone.

1779
02:10:25,120 --> 02:10:25,860
It's like, hello, Joe.

1780
02:10:25,900 --> 02:10:26,220
Wait a minute.

1781
02:10:26,320 --> 02:10:26,680
Hold on.

1782
02:10:26,720 --> 02:10:27,820
You've got to look down here and do this.

1783
02:10:28,080 --> 02:10:28,220
Wait.

1784
02:10:28,280 --> 02:10:30,880
The first three digits are and then do some more and get...

1785
02:10:30,880 --> 02:10:31,800
That's not going to work.

1786
02:10:32,120 --> 02:10:39,300
If you can have the headset that just goes down to your belt, you can have the cell phone and the PDA in one unit.

1787
02:10:39,800 --> 02:10:43,240
You can even throw in a digital music player if you want, all in one unit.

1788
02:10:43,600 --> 02:10:44,760
And you can listen to the music.

1789
02:10:44,940 --> 02:10:46,200
You can talk on the phone.

1790
02:10:46,540 --> 02:10:51,000
Because all the weight and complexity of that is going to be down here.

1791
02:10:51,380 --> 02:10:56,120
One of the goals in the wireless handheld world is to reduce the number of devices...

1792
02:10:56,120 --> 02:10:57,200
Handheld world.

1793
02:10:57,980 --> 02:11:00,880
Probably the best example of that that exists today...

1794
02:11:00,880 --> 02:11:02,220
Handheld world.

1795
02:11:02,460 --> 02:11:05,680
...going to be very soon is the Microsoft Pocket PC device.

1796
02:11:06,220 --> 02:11:06,660
Here it is.

1797
02:11:06,740 --> 02:11:08,660
It's a Palm Pilot-like device.

1798
02:11:08,800 --> 02:11:11,640
It's a little bigger and heavier and more expensive than a Palm Pilot.

1799
02:11:12,020 --> 02:11:14,340
And it has lousy battery life compared to a Palm Pilot.

1800
02:11:14,440 --> 02:11:16,120
But it's also an MP3 player.

1801
02:11:16,460 --> 02:11:18,220
It's also a digital voice recorder.

1802
02:11:18,760 --> 02:11:20,540
It plays digital movies.

1803
02:11:21,200 --> 02:11:24,340
It does all kinds of things that a Palm Pilot can't do.

1804
02:11:24,400 --> 02:11:25,840
And certainly a cell phone can't do.

1805
02:11:31,440 --> 02:11:37,520
We tend to think of websites as collections of information that we look at or read or print.

1806
02:11:37,520 --> 02:11:42,760
But one of the really interesting topics here at Digital Living Room was the so-called talking website.

1807
02:11:43,200 --> 02:11:44,220
Chat topics.

1808
02:11:44,540 --> 02:11:49,360
This is a website that you surf with speech and that has the ability to talk back to you.

1809
02:11:49,780 --> 02:11:51,080
One of the problems with...

1810
02:11:51,080 --> 02:11:51,960
There are three companies.

1811
02:11:51,960 --> 02:11:54,180
Another fucking boring panel.

1812
02:11:55,180 --> 02:11:56,200
Look at this guy.

1813
02:11:56,280 --> 02:11:57,340
He's taking control.

1814
02:11:59,920 --> 02:12:00,480
Movies.

1815
02:12:00,740 --> 02:12:02,400
Sponsored by IMDb.

1816
02:12:03,020 --> 02:12:04,820
For which movie do you want to review?

1817
02:12:05,220 --> 02:12:09,020
You can say top 10 to hear the current top 10 movies in the country.

1818
02:12:09,440 --> 02:12:10,020
Top 10.

1819
02:12:11,180 --> 02:12:12,100
Top 10.

1820
02:12:13,620 --> 02:12:16,600
The following are the top 10 movie box office hits.

1821
02:12:17,040 --> 02:12:20,120
When you hear me say the movie you want to see, say that one.

1822
02:12:20,340 --> 02:12:22,100
And I'll get you information for that movie.

1823
02:12:22,340 --> 02:12:23,640
Gone in 60 seconds.

1824
02:12:23,860 --> 02:12:24,400
That one.

1825
02:12:28,160 --> 02:12:30,280
Look at the rocking and the swaying.

1826
02:12:30,820 --> 02:12:33,360
And the look of confidence on his face.

1827
02:12:33,460 --> 02:12:34,100
He knew...

1828
02:12:34,100 --> 02:12:38,060
He knew what he was doing when he fucking started rocking and swaying and doing that.

1829
02:12:38,620 --> 02:12:43,420
He wants the world to know that he's a man in control of the situation.

1830
02:12:45,200 --> 02:12:46,640
Gone in 60 seconds.

1831
02:12:46,960 --> 02:12:48,320
Is rated PG-13.

1832
02:12:48,700 --> 02:12:51,340
And has a running time of 119 minutes.

1833
02:12:51,740 --> 02:12:54,540
When his little brother gets in over his head with a mob,

1834
02:12:54,800 --> 02:12:59,420
a master car thief must steal over 100 cars in this turbocharged crime thriller.

1835
02:13:00,720 --> 02:13:01,780
So what do you think?

1836
02:13:01,960 --> 02:13:03,400
Would you like to find out where it's showing?

1837
02:13:03,980 --> 02:13:04,400
Yes.

1838
02:13:04,960 --> 02:13:08,600
Another contender in the voice portal category is called Be Vocal.

1839
02:13:08,600 --> 02:13:11,160
Their emphasis is on travel information.

1840
02:13:11,160 --> 02:13:11,400
Close.

1841
02:13:11,400 --> 02:13:13,400
Close.

1842
02:13:13,400 --> 02:13:15,400
Close.

1843
02:13:15,400 --> 02:13:17,400
Close.

1844
02:13:17,400 --> 02:13:19,400
Close.

1845
02:13:19,400 --> 02:13:44,400
*Bone 4*

1846
02:13:44,400 --> 02:13:48,400
*Bone 4*

1847
02:13:48,400 --> 02:13:50,400
*Bone 5*

1848
02:13:50,400 --> 02:13:51,400
*Bone 5*

1849
02:13:51,400 --> 02:13:52,400
*Bone 5*

1850
02:13:52,400 --> 02:13:54,400
*Bone 5*

1851
02:13:54,400 --> 02:13:57,080
Their emphasis is on travel information.

1852
02:13:57,520 --> 02:13:58,780
Be vocal driving directions.

1853
02:14:01,020 --> 02:14:03,280
Be vocal driving directions.

1854
02:14:04,820 --> 02:14:07,640
Powered by MapQuest with Navtech on board.

1855
02:14:07,800 --> 02:14:10,120
Would you like to use your most recent set of directions?

1856
02:14:10,520 --> 02:14:10,760
No.

1857
02:14:12,100 --> 02:14:12,840
Fuck no.

1858
02:14:13,000 --> 02:14:15,100
Okay. Let's get your starting point.

1859
02:14:15,860 --> 02:14:17,020
Name a city in state.

1860
02:14:17,280 --> 02:14:22,180
Or if you have saved addresses, say home, work, last start, or last destination.

1861
02:14:22,940 --> 02:14:23,420
Home.

1862
02:14:23,420 --> 02:14:31,840
Home. 1100 Santa Monica Boulevard Santa Monica. Is this correct?

1863
02:14:32,160 --> 02:14:32,440
Yes.

1864
02:14:34,340 --> 02:14:36,120
Now let's get your destination.

1865
02:14:37,020 --> 02:14:39,960
Name a city in state. Or say home or work.

1866
02:14:40,400 --> 02:14:41,420
Burbank, California.

1867
02:14:42,740 --> 02:14:43,300
Burbank.

1868
02:14:43,940 --> 02:14:45,960
Finally, this is a service called film.

1869
02:14:45,960 --> 02:14:46,340
Jesus.

1870
02:14:46,760 --> 02:14:48,560
What part of New York City do you want?

1871
02:14:48,780 --> 02:14:49,480
Try Becca.

1872
02:14:51,560 --> 02:14:52,120
Burbank.

1873
02:14:52,120 --> 02:14:54,120
Burbank, California.

1874
02:14:54,120 --> 02:15:20,020
Here are 10 Italian restaurants in and around Tribeca. Say next or previous to move quickly through the list. To end this list, say stop. Acapella. Received four Tell Me Stars. It's located at 1 Hudson Street. To connect to this restaurant, say connect me as a Gat review is available for this restaurant. Connect me.

1875
02:15:23,240 --> 02:15:52,360
You have selected disconnect. You have selected disconnect. Acapella. I'm not sure what it would take to get a table tonight. So we're actually calling now. Acapella, buongiorno. How are you today? Good, good. How are you, sir? I'm doing great. Tell me, how late are you open for dinner tonight? Uh, 5 to 10, sorry. How are these demonstrators? It would have been class if you'd have got onto the phone. She were a man. And when he answered the fucking phone. How are you today? Good, good. How are you, sir?

1876
02:15:52,360 --> 02:16:16,500
I'm doing great. I'm doing great. Tell me. He went, I'm doing great. Fuck you. Fuck you. Boop, boop, boop. Just as like, just to take the edge off the room. There was a bit of tension then. Was the technology going to work or not? And then when it did work, it would have been quality to have just slam dunked the fucking prank phone call, transitioned into the prank, and then got the fuck out there. Everyone would have remembered that presentation.

1877
02:16:16,500 --> 02:16:27,780
Tell me, how late are you open for dinner tonight? Uh, 5 to 10, sorry. While these demonstrations are pretty impressive, there are still some big questions on the future of voice portals.

1878
02:16:28,340 --> 02:16:34,600
I see voice portals, whether it's Quack or TellMe.com or BeVocal or any others that are going to emerge, as a very useful technology.

1879
02:16:34,600 --> 02:16:35,200
Larry!

1880
02:16:35,200 --> 02:16:47,560
Larry! I think it's time. You know, you know what time it is. Let's get them going. Let's get these Googlers going.

1881
02:16:59,200 --> 02:17:20,800
Really adds a lot of credence to the statements he's making.

1882
02:17:20,800 --> 02:17:37,600
Let's give this fucker a taste of the treatment.

1883
02:17:37,600 --> 02:17:50,000
This is a tricky one. He's a mover.

1884
02:17:50,000 --> 02:17:52,000
He's a mover.

1885
02:17:52,000 --> 02:18:06,000
...the words you're saying. That is moving along very well and will be very robust within a few years. The other part, which is actually much more difficult, is called natural language processing. And that means knowing what you want from what you say.

1886
02:18:06,000 --> 02:18:16,000
I wonder, could you fucking select the two of them and move them both around simultaneously? That would really be a... That would really be a great night.

1887
02:18:16,000 --> 02:18:18,000
Great night.

1888
02:18:18,000 --> 02:18:22,000
We had the two of these guys. Oh, you fucking can. Go on.

1889
02:18:22,000 --> 02:18:40,000
You can say to a travel agent, as was discussed at the show, tell me when the next flight is to New York and they'll know what you mean. A computer might really have a struggle and might show you every flight from everywhere in the country to New York, not realizing that I'm here in Los Angeles and I only want flights from Los Angeles to New York.

1890
02:18:40,000 --> 02:18:42,000
Much of the work...

1891
02:18:42,000 --> 02:18:44,000
That's enough of that. We've got...

1892
02:18:44,000 --> 02:18:46,000
...on speech recognition technology...

1893
02:18:46,000 --> 02:18:48,000
Is this guy John Daly, is this?

1894
02:18:48,000 --> 02:18:50,000
...has nothing to do with talking websites, but with being able to use your...

1895
02:18:50,000 --> 02:18:58,000
It's a beautiful piece of pudding. A sweet little piece of meat.

1896
02:18:58,000 --> 02:19:04,000
...voice, normal conversation, as an interface with today's information devices.

1897
02:19:04,000 --> 02:19:08,000
When I talk about conversation, I'm not talking about speech in, speech out.

1898
02:19:08,000 --> 02:19:10,000
I see Osborne.

1899
02:19:10,000 --> 02:19:11,000
I'm talking about...

1900
02:19:11,000 --> 02:19:12,000
Okay, copyright.

1901
02:19:12,000 --> 02:19:14,000
...about conversation, I'm not talking about...

1902
02:19:14,000 --> 02:19:15,000
Billy Ozzy Osborne.

1903
02:19:15,000 --> 02:19:38,000
...about speech in, speech out. I'm talking about multimodal. On a WAP phone, what you really want to do is say, "What's the last 20 transactions in my checking account?" And you want it really displayed because you don't want to listen to it. However, you're driving down the car, you might want to hear it. You want to be able to take a pen on your Palm Pilot and say, "What's on the to-do list?"

1904
02:19:38,000 --> 02:19:40,000
Wet-ass protocol.

1905
02:19:40,000 --> 02:19:53,000
Delete this one. Make this priority one. The combination multimodal graphics, pen and voice is really what the interface of the future is.

1906
02:19:53,000 --> 02:20:01,000
But the report card is uneven on voice recognition systems. Some people love it. Some people think it's still a long way off.

1907
02:20:01,000 --> 02:20:04,000
I personally use a service called Portico.

1908
02:20:08,000 --> 02:20:11,000
Tonight at 9:00 on 4:00.

1909
02:20:11,000 --> 02:20:17,000
David Bunnell. The man who personally used a service called Portico.

1910
02:20:17,000 --> 02:20:46,980
Oh, my God.

1911
02:20:46,980 --> 02:21:16,960
Oh, my God.

1912
02:21:16,960 --> 02:21:21,420
Ask it to phone somebody if I know that they're on my list.

1913
02:21:21,580 --> 02:21:32,220
I have several thousand names in my address book so I can say, look up Mara Bunnell, who's my daughter, and it will give me a choice.

1914
02:21:32,360 --> 02:21:35,800
I can call her at home or call her at work or call her cell phone.

1915
02:21:36,220 --> 02:21:41,680
I don't have to remember the number or dig around the drawer to find where I wrote it down.

1916
02:21:41,960 --> 02:21:43,020
It's always there.

1917
02:21:43,200 --> 02:21:44,860
It's a very great service.

1918
02:21:46,000 --> 02:21:50,820
So I think my personal experience has been good with voice recognition.

1919
02:21:51,060 --> 02:21:53,740
I think it's going to be really huge.

1920
02:21:54,140 --> 02:21:55,520
Voice recognition is a long way off.

1921
02:21:55,640 --> 02:21:57,080
The badge is after you.

1922
02:21:57,620 --> 02:21:58,840
Skip through the badge.

1923
02:21:59,440 --> 02:22:03,260
He's filling in time now using this badge B-roll footage.

1924
02:22:03,380 --> 02:22:04,420
Badge roll he's using.

1925
02:22:05,180 --> 02:22:06,540
Post-PC era.

1926
02:22:06,980 --> 02:22:08,660
Post-PC era.

1927
02:22:08,720 --> 02:22:14,640
It's popular these days to talk about the post-PC era, a time when we all don't need Windows computers.

1928
02:22:15,120 --> 02:22:17,920
That was certainly the case here at the Digital Living Room conference.

1929
02:22:18,360 --> 02:22:20,260
Lots of information appliances.

1930
02:22:20,740 --> 02:22:23,660
Simple devices that do one thing very well.

1931
02:22:24,060 --> 02:22:25,220
Replay TV allows you to have...

1932
02:22:25,220 --> 02:22:29,400
There were several demonstrations here at Digital Living Room of new info appliances.

1933
02:22:29,780 --> 02:22:31,200
Replay is a good example.

1934
02:22:31,540 --> 02:22:32,580
It's really a computer.

1935
02:22:32,960 --> 02:22:35,080
CPU, memory, hard drive.

1936
02:22:35,280 --> 02:22:37,980
But its only job is to help you watch television.

1937
02:22:38,420 --> 02:22:39,520
This is Siva.

1938
02:22:39,860 --> 02:22:41,740
Again, it's a computer on the inside.

1939
02:22:42,100 --> 02:22:45,980
But its special purpose is to download and display digital photographs.

1940
02:22:46,800 --> 02:22:49,220
Eye Opener from Netpliance is another example.

1941
02:22:49,740 --> 02:22:51,980
They have a screen, a mouse and a keyboard.

1942
02:22:52,400 --> 02:22:54,380
But it is simply an internet terminal.

1943
02:22:54,620 --> 02:22:55,440
Easy to use.

1944
02:22:55,800 --> 02:22:57,000
Inexpensive to buy.

1945
02:22:57,340 --> 02:22:59,040
And even this is a computer.

1946
02:22:59,500 --> 02:23:00,640
An information appliance...

1947
02:23:00,640 --> 02:23:01,160
Oh, lovely.

1948
02:23:01,920 --> 02:23:02,720
And look at this.

1949
02:23:02,800 --> 02:23:06,440
It's a sensual piece of gold.

1950
02:23:07,540 --> 02:23:09,900
He's rocking the piece of gold in the ear.

1951
02:23:10,460 --> 02:23:11,840
It's a real fucking statement.

1952
02:23:12,740 --> 02:23:14,200
It's a real statement piece.

1953
02:23:14,200 --> 02:23:14,900
...of a piano.

1954
02:23:15,440 --> 02:23:20,980
There's a Windows PC hidden inside this van covering interactive piano, complete with modem,

1955
02:23:21,040 --> 02:23:23,640
and the ability to upgrade its software.

1956
02:23:23,640 --> 02:23:24,580
Okay, that's fine.

1957
02:23:24,580 --> 02:23:29,520
The hot new form factor for information appliances is the web pad.

1958
02:23:29,860 --> 02:23:32,580
There's going to be an explosion of web pads throughout the house.

1959
02:23:32,720 --> 02:23:32,840
You'll see...

1960
02:23:32,840 --> 02:23:33,300
Mary Walker.

1961
02:23:33,300 --> 02:23:34,580
You'll start to have them in the kitchen.

1962
02:23:34,780 --> 02:23:37,460
You'll have them in the entertainment area.

1963
02:23:37,940 --> 02:23:41,480
And what it does is it provides a single platform, low cost.

1964
02:23:41,620 --> 02:23:59,500
Instead of having to have a PC that you've got to boot up, you'll now have these devices that are wireless that will connect back to this service gateway and be able to do things like surf the net, select movies that you want to watch on your entertainment system, purchase things, so e-shopping.

1965
02:23:59,500 --> 02:24:05,040
So it's really a new user interface that is low cost and mobile.

1966
02:24:05,040 --> 02:24:11,040
This is a web pad attached to a refrigerator. It's simply a touch screen version of Netpliance's eye opener.

1967
02:24:11,040 --> 02:24:17,040
Perfect thing for the kitchen. You can just have it there and type out a quick email and send it off.

1968
02:24:17,040 --> 02:24:21,040
Another example would be Microsoft's Web TV application, which my grandmother has.

1969
02:24:21,040 --> 02:24:25,040
My 88 year old grandmother uses this. And I almost, you know, I don't call.

1970
02:24:25,040 --> 02:24:31,040
I'm a terrible grandson, but now that she's got email, we're communicating almost every day and it's wonderful.

1971
02:24:31,040 --> 02:24:35,040
One unique approach to the information appliance comes from NCR.

1972
02:24:35,040 --> 02:24:40,040
We tend to think of e-commerce and brick and mortar commerce as two separate activities.

1973
02:24:40,040 --> 02:24:45,040
But NCR thinks there's room for an e-commerce kiosk inside your supermarket.

1974
02:24:45,040 --> 02:24:51,040
You go in the grocery store, you go in the deli section, and the deli section has four people in front of you.

1975
02:24:51,040 --> 02:24:58,040
So instead of waiting in line to explain it, you go up to a web kiosk. This is it. It can stand independently, be hooked on the wall.

1976
02:24:58,040 --> 02:25:04,040
It's basically a panel PC with some extra resiliency built into it so kids can spill coke.

1977
02:25:05,040 --> 02:25:11,040
Hey guys. Great to see you. I'm inside the web panel.

1978
02:25:11,040 --> 02:25:21,040
While we're doing today, me and my co-host, Janelle here, we're going to show you the future of Web Pad technology 5.0.

1979
02:25:21,040 --> 02:25:31,040
Just in time for Christmas. And I gotta tell you something, it's a real sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet piece of tech.

1980
02:25:31,040 --> 02:25:43,040
Just today, I had my first Web Pad extravaganza and it really, really sucked ass.

1981
02:25:43,040 --> 02:25:44,040
It's on it.

1982
02:25:44,040 --> 02:25:51,040
Oh! I don't like it when you do that to me, Janelle. Stop touching me like that.

1983
02:25:51,040 --> 02:26:03,040
Hey! Janelle! Janelle! Stop touching me, Janelle! Hey! Hey! Janelle! The fuck are you doing, Janelle?

1984
02:26:03,040 --> 02:26:14,040
Hey! Hey! This isn't the demonstration. You never said the demonstration would go like this. The fuck? The fuck? Get off of me, man!

1985
02:26:14,040 --> 02:26:43,040
Somebody call the cops! You're abusing me! This fucking abuse! Somebody call 911! This broad's gone fucking chaotic here! Hey! Get the fuck out of here! The fuck are you doing? Stop doing that! It's not professional! That's abuse!

1986
02:26:43,040 --> 02:26:47,140
Fuck you, Janelle!

1987
02:26:50,460 --> 02:26:51,300
Hey!

1988
02:26:52,440 --> 02:26:54,260
The fuck are you doing?

1989
02:26:55,560 --> 02:26:56,620
Get out of here!

1990
02:26:59,160 --> 02:27:00,420
Coke on it.

1991
02:27:00,720 --> 02:27:01,160
Hey!

1992
02:27:01,780 --> 02:27:02,260
Okay.

1993
02:27:02,740 --> 02:27:03,820
Stop doing that!

1994
02:27:05,360 --> 02:27:06,160
Fuck!

1995
02:27:06,160 --> 02:27:06,860
Ah!

1996
02:27:08,060 --> 02:27:08,320
Ah!

1997
02:27:09,360 --> 02:27:10,160
Ah!

1998
02:27:10,740 --> 02:27:11,100
Ah!

1999
02:27:11,100 --> 02:27:11,600
Ah!

2000
02:27:12,780 --> 02:27:13,360
Ah!

2001
02:27:16,360 --> 02:27:17,120
Ah!

2002
02:27:20,440 --> 02:27:21,280
Ah!

2003
02:27:23,100 --> 02:27:23,600
Ah!

2004
02:27:23,600 --> 02:27:24,100
Ah!

2005
02:27:29,040 --> 02:27:31,280
Somebody call the goddamn cops!

2006
02:27:33,120 --> 02:27:34,440
Call the...

2007
02:27:34,440 --> 02:27:36,320
Hey!

2008
02:27:37,300 --> 02:27:38,780
Hey, I go into the deli.

2009
02:27:39,100 --> 02:27:41,360
Now I'm in the deli, in the deli on...

2010
02:27:44,360 --> 02:27:45,360
...on the web.

2011
02:27:45,360 --> 02:27:51,320
And I can go ahead and buy some cheese, order some meat, get some salads.

2012
02:27:51,320 --> 02:27:53,580
I can say the amount, the type I want...

2013
02:27:53,580 --> 02:27:55,580
...to the deli...

2014
02:27:55,580 --> 02:27:57,580
...to the deli...

2015
02:27:57,580 --> 02:27:59,580
...now I'm in the deli, in the...

2016
02:27:59,580 --> 02:28:04,140
And I can go ahead and buy some cheese, order some meat, get some salads.

2017
02:28:04,480 --> 02:28:06,340
I can say the amount, the type I want.

2018
02:28:11,920 --> 02:28:12,940
To the deli.

2019
02:28:14,040 --> 02:28:16,480
Now I'm in the deli.

2020
02:28:16,480 --> 02:28:25,480
In the deli on the web.

2021
02:28:25,860 --> 02:28:29,200
And I can go ahead and buy some cheese, order some meat, get some salad.

2022
02:28:29,200 --> 02:28:31,400
I can say the amount, the type I want.

2023
02:28:31,760 --> 02:28:37,400
Another good example of using an e-commerce kiosk inside a supermarket would be in the wine department.

2024
02:28:37,880 --> 02:28:39,340
Now this is great and important.

2025
02:28:39,520 --> 02:28:42,220
Why didn't I just go up and buy a bottle of wine?

2026
02:28:42,560 --> 02:28:45,060
Because I don't know anything about wine.

2027
02:28:45,760 --> 02:28:49,000
Now I could have looked it up on the web before I went into the store.

2028
02:28:49,400 --> 02:28:55,060
The only problem with looking it up on the web before I go into the store is that I've missed a big piece of it.

2029
02:28:55,140 --> 02:28:57,360
Like maybe that store doesn't carry that type of wine.

2030
02:28:57,360 --> 02:29:01,120
They don't have that bottle. They don't have that year.

2031
02:29:01,120 --> 02:29:05,980
No one cares about your goddamn store story, Janelle.

2032
02:29:05,980 --> 02:29:10,960
No one cares. You're losing the audience.

2033
02:29:10,960 --> 02:29:20,320
The only problem with looking it up on the web before I go into the store is that I've missed a big piece of it.

2034
02:29:20,320 --> 02:29:23,840
Like maybe that store doesn't carry that type of wine.

2035
02:29:24,180 --> 02:29:26,200
They don't have that bottle. They don't have that year.

2036
02:29:26,200 --> 02:29:52,200
whistling

2037
02:29:52,200 --> 02:29:59,200
whistling

2038
02:29:59,200 --> 02:30:09,200
So while I'm in the store, the store will only show me pulled down from the web the subset of those wines they're carrying in inventory right now on the shelf.

2039
02:30:19,200 --> 02:30:25,200
Babe! Get on with the fucking show here!

2040
02:30:26,200 --> 02:30:33,200
Another NCR innovation in the shopping area is the digital receipt, zapped wirelessly to your PDA.

2041
02:30:33,200 --> 02:30:45,200
How many of you have ever been given a receipt for anything you've ever bought? Paper receipt.

2042
02:30:45,200 --> 02:31:07,200
Right, we've all gotten paper receipt. What do we do with the paper receipt? Most of us leave the place, bundle it up, throw it away. It now has no value. So why do we do it? Well, we're supposed to have it. If the thing breaks, that's how we bring it back. Let's say it was all digital and everything you bought could be stored somewhere. It could be sent emailed to your home. It could be downloaded to your palm.

2043
02:31:07,200 --> 02:31:17,200
While this might seem like a trivial application, it could in fact be quite valuable.

2044
02:31:17,200 --> 02:31:38,200
If you could imagine vaults that consumer goods manufacturers access, that retailers access, that consumers access and find out everything they want to know about their receipt. You never have to find a lost warranty receipt again. Never have to prove anything again. It's all existing online and people like Intuit will have it on Quicken so your personal finances are a dream.

2045
02:31:39,200 --> 02:31:59,200
If there was one overriding theme here at the Digital Living Room Conference, it was that the digital world and the internet are moving from words to pictures and with good reason.

2046
02:31:59,200 --> 02:32:17,200
Photographies and video are part of our lives, our souls, our memories. If you think about it, what do you look back on? You rarely look back on an email. You rarely reread your instant messages. But you look back at your photographs, your family photographs, your personal photographs, your business photographs.

2047
02:32:17,200 --> 02:32:45,200
You never forget the way you look back on an email. You never forget the way you feel right now. Oh no, no way. And I would do anything for love. Oh, I would do anything for love. I would do anything for love. But I won't do that.

2048
02:32:45,200 --> 02:32:49,360
No, I won't do that.

2049
02:32:58,360 --> 02:33:01,200
And some days it don't come easy.

2050
02:33:01,980 --> 02:33:04,440
And some days it don't come hard.

2051
02:33:05,080 --> 02:33:06,920
Some days it don't come mad.

2052
02:33:06,920 --> 02:33:16,040
The service is all about simplicity.

2053
02:33:16,040 --> 02:33:19,540
It allows users to connect digital cameras right to the box.

2054
02:33:20,820 --> 02:33:22,320
Set up box.

2055
02:33:22,520 --> 02:33:24,920
And upload their pictures through the broadband.

2056
02:33:25,480 --> 02:33:28,460
Thank you very much, Omar and Sarah Love Shafee.

2057
02:33:28,580 --> 02:33:30,720
Thank you very much for the tip, Sarah Love Shafee.

2058
02:33:30,840 --> 02:33:35,440
The service they already have in their home that's serving up broadcast content to their television.

2059
02:33:35,440 --> 02:33:43,260
The new Kodak TV system lets you distribute, view, and even order prints of digital photos right on your television set.

2060
02:33:43,760 --> 02:33:46,440
It opens up a whole new market for users to...

2061
02:33:47,280 --> 02:33:48,120
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2062
02:33:48,620 --> 02:33:49,820
And take thumbnail.

2063
02:33:50,120 --> 02:33:53,660
In Japan now has an attachment that you can buy for your cell phone.

2064
02:33:54,080 --> 02:33:54,440
And take thumbnails.

2065
02:33:55,240 --> 02:33:58,980
Like a female Steve Jobs, Nancy Carr is after you.

2066
02:34:00,120 --> 02:34:01,120
Wow.

2067
02:34:01,120 --> 02:34:02,120
Wow.

2068
02:34:02,120 --> 02:34:02,120
This is a new search engine called Ditto.com.

2069
02:34:02,120 --> 02:34:03,120
It searches for images rather than text, which can be very helpful.

2070
02:34:03,120 --> 02:34:07,220
will be bringing real digital pictures to online mapping and directions.

2071
02:34:07,780 --> 02:34:11,460
Instead of clunky little line maps and disruptive redraws,

2072
02:34:11,960 --> 02:34:15,760
Flyover will let you look at a real aerial view of the place you want to go to

2073
02:34:15,760 --> 02:34:19,680
and let you zoom or navigate the terrain in real time.

2074
02:34:20,320 --> 02:34:23,440
Even web search is moving from words to pictures.

2075
02:34:23,960 --> 02:34:26,900
This is a new search engine called Ditto.com.

2076
02:34:27,360 --> 02:34:29,760
It searches for images rather than text,

2077
02:34:29,760 --> 02:34:33,560
which can be very helpful when you're searching for something like Notre Dame.

2078
02:34:33,880 --> 02:34:35,840
Do you mean the cathedral or the university?

2079
02:34:36,540 --> 02:34:43,840
We are in a group of new companies who are committed to high relevance search

2080
02:34:43,840 --> 02:34:46,360
and our approach to that is pictures.

2081
02:34:47,200 --> 02:34:51,420
At Ditto, we've indexed over 100 million pictures on the web

2082
02:34:51,420 --> 02:34:56,880
and culled that down to, frankly, the 4.1 million best pictures

2083
02:34:57,280 --> 02:34:59,820
so that for virtually any topic you want to go see,

2084
02:35:00,580 --> 02:35:03,800
you can see the web rather than read the web.

2085
02:35:04,060 --> 02:35:06,660
It was clear here at the Digital Living Room Conference

2086
02:35:06,660 --> 02:35:10,580
that most new computer applications will be delivered via the web,

2087
02:35:10,940 --> 02:35:13,440
not some shrink-wrapped package on a store shelf.

2088
02:35:13,880 --> 02:35:14,980
There were many examples.

2089
02:35:15,620 --> 02:35:19,200
This is Think Free, a complete office suite written in Java.

2090
02:35:19,600 --> 02:35:22,180
That means the application and your files...

2091
02:35:22,180 --> 02:35:24,420
The entire application is only 8 megabytes.

2092
02:35:24,420 --> 02:35:25,280
Very compact.

2093
02:35:25,480 --> 02:35:27,120
It's a lovely little piece of putin'.

2094
02:35:27,120 --> 02:35:29,420
It's Dick Buchanan, everybody.

2095
02:35:29,640 --> 02:35:30,660
Dick Buchanan.

2096
02:35:34,060 --> 02:35:35,120
Code base.

2097
02:35:35,480 --> 02:35:39,020
In fact, the entire application is only 8 megabytes in size.

2098
02:35:39,680 --> 02:35:42,540
The idea was to deliver these tiny...

2099
02:35:42,540 --> 02:35:43,640
Dick Cannon.

2100
02:35:43,640 --> 02:35:48,840
...applets via the Internet directly to users and consumers of the technology.

2101
02:35:48,840 --> 02:35:51,200
as rapidly as we can develop it.

2102
02:35:51,300 --> 02:35:54,160
So if every 45 days we come out with a new version,

2103
02:35:54,300 --> 02:35:56,840
we push it through the Internet pipe directly...

2104
02:35:56,840 --> 02:36:01,080
Internet pipe.

2105
02:36:01,460 --> 02:36:04,240
If every 45 days we come out with a new version,

2106
02:36:04,360 --> 02:36:07,560
we push it through the Internet pipe directly to the...

2107
02:36:07,560 --> 02:36:08,900
So we come out with a new version,

2108
02:36:09,020 --> 02:36:10,820
we push it through the Internet pipe.

2109
02:36:10,820 --> 02:36:40,820
Pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe,

2110
02:36:40,820 --> 02:36:46,820
you can get real-time advice from a live technician. Their technology lets the tech support person...

2111
02:36:46,820 --> 02:36:52,820
We're downloading the shop wave from the ladies in the cave. So get your groove on.

2112
02:36:52,820 --> 02:36:56,820
...take remote control of your computer and fix the problem for you.

2113
02:36:56,820 --> 02:37:02,820
And this is a totally new concept... Maybe I am just a little fucked up. Life is a little fucked up.

2114
02:37:02,820 --> 02:37:06,820
...packages are called dots from a company named DoDots.

2115
02:37:06,820 --> 02:37:11,820
You can think of those as bite-sized internet applications on a desktop.

2116
02:37:11,820 --> 02:37:12,820
Wow!

2117
02:37:12,820 --> 02:37:16,820
You can use one or you can use a dozen. And you can move them really anywhere that you want.

2118
02:37:16,820 --> 02:37:22,820
One might give you a headline news, another might give you your online calendar, another one might be a music player.

2119
02:37:22,820 --> 02:37:28,820
For the users, it allows them to get things done because you can use your Merriam-Webster dictionary dot with your word processor...

2120
02:37:28,820 --> 02:37:34,820
...as opposed to having to switch back and forth. It allows you to draw on multiple resources to get...

2121
02:37:34,820 --> 02:37:38,820
If you need to make a decision, you can have five dots open at the exact same time.

2122
02:37:38,820 --> 02:37:46,820
Despite lots of cool new dot-com applications here at Digital Living Room, it was clear that dot-com frenzy is slowing down...

2123
02:37:46,820 --> 02:37:52,820
...and that only real online businesses with bottom-line profit potential will survive.

2124
02:37:52,820 --> 02:37:58,820
At Upside today, we started a section called the dot-com graveyard.

2125
02:37:58,820 --> 02:38:08,820
And it's growing as we speak. And if you go to that Upside today and you go to that part of our site, you'll see little tombstones.

2126
02:38:08,820 --> 02:38:14,820
And we'll list all the dot-coms that have gone out of business. We'll tell you how much cash they've burned through.

2127
02:38:14,820 --> 02:38:22,820
And I'll give you a quote from the...usually from the CEO as he's walking out the door for the last time, what he says about the experience.

2128
02:38:22,820 --> 02:38:24,820
So it's a lot of fun.

2129
02:38:24,820 --> 02:38:27,820
In classic internet fashion, we're saying the same kind of...

2130
02:38:27,820 --> 02:38:30,820
Janet Rae Dupree.

2131
02:38:30,820 --> 02:38:45,820
And it warrants one of these. And also, before I get into the warranting, I want to say a big thank you to Gilbo, who's just tipped there and says, "Your streams bring me so much joy.

2132
02:38:45,820 --> 02:38:51,820
Have a great Christmas. And an even better 2023."

2133
02:38:51,820 --> 02:38:55,820
Thank you very much.

2134
02:38:55,820 --> 02:38:57,820
...industry consults...

2135
02:38:57,820 --> 02:39:15,820
Tonight at 9:00 on dispatches...

2136
02:39:15,820 --> 02:39:19,820
Janet Rae Dupree.

2137
02:39:19,820 --> 02:39:23,820
Fuzzball Nightmare.

2138
02:39:23,820 --> 02:39:29,820
...you mean Dupree.

2139
02:39:29,820 --> 02:39:32,820
...fuzzy dumb lop.

2140
02:39:32,820 --> 02:39:34,820
...fuzzy dumb lop.

2141
02:39:50,820 --> 02:39:51,820
...fifu...

2142
02:39:51,820 --> 02:39:52,820
...fifu...

2143
02:39:52,820 --> 02:39:56,820
*laughs*

2144
02:39:56,820 --> 02:39:58,820
*crickets*

2145
02:39:58,820 --> 02:40:00,820
*crickets*

2146
02:40:00,820 --> 02:40:02,820
*crickets*

2147
02:40:02,820 --> 02:40:32,800
I don't know.

2148
02:40:32,800 --> 02:41:02,780
I don't know.

2149
02:41:02,780 --> 02:41:04,780
I don't know.

2150
02:41:04,780 --> 02:41:06,780
I don't know.

2151
02:41:06,780 --> 02:41:06,780
I don't know.

2152
02:41:06,780 --> 02:41:08,780
I don't know.

2153
02:41:08,780 --> 02:41:10,780
I don't know.

2154
02:41:10,780 --> 02:41:12,780
I don't know.

2155
02:41:12,780 --> 02:41:14,780
I don't know.

2156
02:41:14,780 --> 02:41:16,780
I don't know.

2157
02:41:16,780 --> 02:41:18,780
I don't know.

2158
02:41:18,780 --> 02:41:20,780
I don't know.

2159
02:41:20,780 --> 02:41:22,780
I don't know.

2160
02:41:22,780 --> 02:41:24,780
I don't know.

2161
02:41:24,780 --> 02:41:24,780
I don't know.

2162
02:41:24,780 --> 02:41:26,780
I don't know.

2163
02:41:26,780 --> 02:41:28,780
I don't know.

2164
02:41:28,780 --> 02:41:38,780
I can long-term tell people that I thought the internet craze, the stock craze, was the biggest Ponzi scheme ever run. Last one in is going to lose all their money. And that's exactly what happened. Ponzi's after you.

2165
02:41:38,780 --> 02:41:42,780
One of the success icons of the internet revolution is Amazon.com.

2166
02:41:42,780 --> 02:41:44,780
It'll never take off.

2167
02:41:44,780 --> 02:41:52,780
Analysts here at this conference were wondering whether even Amazon can survive the current market pressure to show profit.

2168
02:41:52,780 --> 02:41:56,360
It'll never survive the fucking dot-com crash.

2169
02:41:56,980 --> 02:41:58,020
It's fucking rubbish.

2170
02:41:58,140 --> 02:42:00,660
Amazon.com, the head of Amazon.com,

2171
02:42:00,720 --> 02:42:02,420
became Time Magazine's Person of the Year

2172
02:42:02,420 --> 02:42:04,420
without ever having turned a profit.

2173
02:42:04,980 --> 02:42:05,980
And so what is he selling?

2174
02:42:06,120 --> 02:42:09,840
He's selling the hope that maybe someday we will be tremendously successful.

2175
02:42:10,240 --> 02:42:12,060
Well, at some point, you have to have reality.

2176
02:42:12,540 --> 02:42:14,220
And I think it's not going to happen right away,

2177
02:42:14,300 --> 02:42:18,080
but this whole B2B, B2C buzzword is all about a lack of reality,

2178
02:42:18,200 --> 02:42:20,200
a lack of sensing what is it that's important.

2179
02:42:20,200 --> 02:42:23,760
And ultimately, it's about making enough money to keep your company afloat

2180
02:42:23,760 --> 02:42:26,760
without having to sucker investors to bring the cash in.

2181
02:42:27,020 --> 02:42:30,700
People didn't realize that they were not in the Internet business.

2182
02:42:31,000 --> 02:42:35,080
Amazon thought of itself as an Internet business,

2183
02:42:35,280 --> 02:42:38,200
not as being in the book business.

2184
02:42:38,580 --> 02:42:41,760
And when the reality kind of came through

2185
02:42:41,760 --> 02:42:44,580
that we're actually in the book business,

2186
02:42:44,840 --> 02:42:47,440
and the margins are very thin,

2187
02:42:47,440 --> 02:42:51,600
and you have to discount lots of bestsellers

2188
02:42:51,600 --> 02:42:53,900
to get the customers in the door,

2189
02:42:54,380 --> 02:42:57,700
it's actually the same process online.

2190
02:42:57,960 --> 02:43:00,260
And then building gigantic warehouses

2191
02:43:00,260 --> 02:43:02,420
in the middle of the desert is expensive.

2192
02:43:03,220 --> 02:43:03,340
Yeah.

2193
02:43:03,500 --> 02:43:06,160
And, you know, it turns out that the reality is

2194
02:43:06,160 --> 02:43:07,100
you're in the book business,

2195
02:43:07,100 --> 02:43:08,400
and it's a tough business.

2196
02:43:08,880 --> 02:43:10,000
So what happened?

2197
02:43:10,760 --> 02:43:12,500
They fucking diversified.

2198
02:43:12,940 --> 02:43:15,120
They went out beyond the book.

2199
02:43:16,800 --> 02:43:19,640
And now they sell every fucking thing under the sun.

2200
02:43:19,640 --> 02:43:22,500
For the Computer Chronicles, I'm Stuart Chaffey

2201
02:43:22,500 --> 02:43:24,300
at the Digital Living Room Conference

2202
02:43:24,300 --> 02:43:26,000
in Dana Point, California.

2203
02:43:27,200 --> 02:43:29,620
The Computer Chronicles is brought to you by

2204
02:43:29,620 --> 02:43:31,460
RonDiamond.com.

2205
02:43:31,780 --> 02:43:33,520
The only site on the Internet.

2206
02:43:34,080 --> 02:43:37,320
Music and memories from the 50s, 60s, and 70s.

2207
02:43:37,520 --> 02:43:39,320
Not just another jukebox.

2208
02:43:39,980 --> 02:43:41,680
Additional support comes from

2209
02:43:41,680 --> 02:43:43,840
The Law Offices of Ivan Hoffman,

2210
02:43:44,220 --> 02:43:45,640
Lawyering with Integrity

2211
02:43:45,640 --> 02:43:48,360
for Internet Law, Copyright, Trademark,

2212
02:43:48,540 --> 02:43:50,500
and Other Intellectual Property Law.

2213
02:43:51,140 --> 02:43:54,440
And by TechWeb for up-to-the-minute technology news.

2214
02:43:56,440 --> 02:43:59,340
To purchase a videotaped copy of today's program,

2215
02:43:59,760 --> 02:44:05,080
call toll-free 1-888-310-7850.

2216
02:44:05,920 --> 02:44:08,460
Please specify the show number and the topic.

2217
02:44:10,680 --> 02:44:12,340
Thanks very much for a manna.

2218
02:44:12,560 --> 02:44:15,480
And thank you very much, everyone who watched.

2219
02:44:15,600 --> 02:44:16,060
Good night.

2220
02:44:16,700 --> 02:44:18,280
And fucking God bless.

2221
02:44:20,680 --> 02:44:21,480
Good night.

2222
02:44:24,860 --> 02:44:25,340
Fuck.

2223
02:44:25,560 --> 02:44:25,780
Fuck.

2224
02:44:25,880 --> 02:44:26,020
Fuck.

2225
02:44:26,120 --> 02:44:26,220
Fuck.

2226
02:44:26,220 --> 02:44:27,180
Oh, fuck.

2227
02:44:27,380 --> 02:44:27,780
Oh, fuck.

2228
02:44:29,000 --> 02:44:29,600
Best goal.

2229
02:44:29,740 --> 02:44:30,380
See you later on.

2230
02:44:30,400 --> 02:44:31,400
It just broke something there.

2231
02:44:31,480 --> 02:44:31,880
See you later.
